Up in smoke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 792
You deserved it 46 628

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Top comments

Ah, the one smoking hazard the Surgeon General didn't warn you about. That's how they get ya...

Apply cold water to the - Hey where's half of your beard?


Apply cold water to the - Hey where's half of your beard?

Couldn't you have just shaved the rest of the beard off?

oj101 33

Right... because everyone carries their razor with them at all times.

If it were the easy, why do you have that haircut? Lose a bet?

"Can I have 10 minutes and some scissors before you start the paperwork to dire me sir? My beard will be mostly gone by the time I get back...including the parts that look burnt."

Ah, the one smoking hazard the Surgeon General didn't warn you about. That's how they get ya...

there's a price for awesomeness!

GuessWhatKids 13

...What exactly is awesome here?

Yeah, it's a real shame OP had to smoke to get the burned beard look. If only there was an easier way...

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Who are you to say what people should and shouldn't do?

Boo hoo! Someone made a rude comment about smoking! I'm going to cry and whine and defend my right to smoke even though I know it's incredibly stupid and dangerous! But dammit, it's my right to smoke! So I'll defend my right until my dying day, which will doubtless come way too soon because of my smoking! Do I have that about right, xrudeboyrock?

#54, you have that completely right. But lets not mention the fact that smoking also harms people who don't smoke and don't want that crap in their lungs! Sorry smokers, but you can't control where your smoke goes and thats just as bad as you yelling at us for not wanting you to smoke. Maybe worse actually.

Yes, because you have the right to tell people how to live their lives... Ridiculous.

Yes because you have the right to give us lung cancer too. We choose NOT to smoke, yet smoke still gets in our systems because people smoke in public places. Im not saying people don't have the right to smoke, Im saying they shouldn't have the right to smoke around people who didn't consent to breathing in their second hand smoke.

I should have mentioned it in this one, but in another comment I said that he was smoking in his car, it's not like he was in the damn office blowing smoke in people's faces. And for the record.. I don't smoke.

theunlovedemo - Yes actually, I DO have the right to tell people how to live. That's part of my job as a physician - telling people that what they are doing is stupid, reckless, deadly, dangerous, etc. Still think it's ridiculous?

Doc, your job is to tell people how they should live. What's suggested here is telling people how they have to live, which is very much different.

Well I wasn't actually referring to you, I was referring to #6, I suppose I should have clarified...

Too right.

Man up and deal with it, don't go anywhere near someone who smokes if you have THAT much problem with it. Most people get on with their life instead of having a pissy fit because they think "OMG I WALKED PAST SMOKE, IM GOING TO DIE". I'm sick of people attacking us smokers, we're a dying breed.. Have some respect.

Then don't go near them. We don't smoke in buildings, we don't smoke in places with 3 walls, we don't smoke on public transport, we don't smoke anywhere near you, go walk somewhere else.

BlitheNightmare 7

137 Do you think smoking is a good thing to do? Do you realize that you are killing yourself as well as anyone with in 10 feet of you? Why do you defend something so descusting? It is like defending rape, or murder.

138, give me a break, its nothing like defending rape or murder. I will admit with you, it is disgusting, and a bad habit, but so is scarfing down fast food and being a part of the obesity epidemic occurring in many parts of the world. A regular diet of greasy burgers and sodas will take your life before smoking does more times than not!

136 + 140- Gee, I wonder why you're a dying breed- maybe it's from all the smoking? Case in point. Yes fast food is a gross habit, but fast food only kills the person eating it while smoking affects not only the smoker, but also the people around the smoker. I also don't think you're in a position to claim that every smoker out there doesn't blow smoke in people's faces or smoke on public transport because let's be honest, there are probably people out there who have.

Good opportunity to quit smoking.

Nolimit2217 32

That's a rough way to start the day.. Mostly because you lost your beard!

Full beard February!!!! Oh no!!!

oj101 33

Getting fired like a sir.

If he were smoking a pipe, maybe.

I'm always stunned at the easiness someone can get fired in the US. It's like you have no civil rights in the work place. Honestly, what's the logic in that? Couldn't they just let you go home for a couple of hours to shave your beard? It was an accident after all. I can't imagine that firing you is the easiest step when considering they have then to recruit someone, train them etc...

I guess unless they were already looking for a reason to fire op... Most companies aren't like that. I guess it seems like that because those are the ones posted on fml?

caysters 12

Depends on where they work. My boyfriend works at a theme park, and they are very strict with wardrobe. Has to be all black shoes. And beard has to be either completely shaved off, or fully grown in, and can't be too long. You aren't allowed to go through the "I'm growing a beard" stage, you either have one or don't. If you don't fit wardrobe, you are written up and sent to fix it. Happens too many times, you're gone. You are told ahead of time what you can and can't wear. So you don't follow it, it's like you don't want your job and they'll just tell you see ya.

Washington state, where I live, is an at-will state, meaning either party can immediately terminate the employment agreement at any time and for any cause or no cause. I'm on my phone, so I can't see where this person is, but that could be the case. Good luck on finding a new job OP, I wish you the best!

Yea for me participating in a union would get me fired. I am constantly working without lunch or breaks for periods of around 12 hours while being told that I'm worthless and easily replaceable.

61- Where? Just curious. Don't have to be exact.

>You aren't allowed to go through the "I'm growing a beard" stage, you either have one or don't. I think this one's pretty simple to answer. Probably all of us have a family member or friend who claimed to be "growing a beard" and had some scraggly wisp of hair that even Shaggy from Scooby Doo would be ashamed to see. Everyone knew that the person in question is incapable of growing a beard, and probably always will be, except the person trying to "grow a beard." That's perfectly alright, if you don't mind being unemployed (people don't like to see it and nearly everyone calls it unprofessional).

asnakelovinbabe 16

65, I can almost guarantee you that 61 works at the shit hole we call Walmart. That is how employees are treated there. I know this for a fact. Thankfully, not because I ever worked there myself.

Too much fire in one day, I'd say :P