Intimacy: Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex... - FML

By EffinAhole - 03/10/2010 04:27 - France

Spicy

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 098

You deserved it 36 905

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 9 606

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 8 071

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 115

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Spicy

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 721

You deserved it 4 510

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 557

You deserved it 15 519

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 284

By Burny - 12/10/2017 16:00

Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 853

You deserved it 284

Quiet down!

By grooveshark - 30/09/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 125

A for Effort

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 20:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 666

Next

Top comments

Lozza 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 12:16

Was the heat... SO INTENSE?

jaderrrx3 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 12:17

I think it's more like **** her life.

Comments

djtelekinesis 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:08

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY ACROSS HER ASS!!!

cfalen 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:44

taste the rainbow...

Tsuki1 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:48

Oh my god.. double rainbow! Wow... oh my god...

JokeMeister 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:49

ALL RIGHT POPS!!

Elendil_fml 10

Monday 4 October 2010 2:05

What does this mean?!

relyo 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:43

Pics or it didn't happen.

DMinimo 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:02

why the f would you have sex in the kitchen? oh right, because WOMEN BELONG THERE

woody24 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:04

not original. theres a video with the exact thing happening word for word.

snafu63 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:29

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY ACROSS HER ASS! OH IT'S SO INTENSE!

Poster_Pastry 0

Monday 4 October 2010 5:00

kitchen sex rule #1- NEVER shove by the stove

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Social Media Stalker Instagram Love Spiders Ironic Animals Embarrassing Phobias Ecology Transportation Bikes Health Work Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook Weird Vacation Mysterious Gamers Video games Gross First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying

The Top

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 095

You deserved it 5 867

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 62

The Top

Today, after I bought a bedframe a few days ago that was up for sale with a sign next to it that said "The best you can ever find! Very supportive and stable!" guess what happened? It shattered into small splinters. I’m literally underweight, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 110

Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 189

You deserved it 973

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 742

You deserved it 1 513

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 246

You deserved it 61 648

Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 85

Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 1 544