Miscellaneous: Today, my name is Tim with a middle name Allen. I learned my...

You weren't named after Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, you were named after Tim Allen. But I agree with everyone else, Tim Allen is great. Fun fact: in 1978 Tim Allen was arrested for trafficking cocaine.

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Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 985

You deserved it 10 699

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 692

You deserved it 2 681

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 714

You deserved it 7 675

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. When I woke up I found out they pulled the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 826

You deserved it 222

Today, my mom was proud for making a positive change in her life. The change in question? She now throws away the smelly hair she combs out of the dog, instead of keeping it for unspecified later use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 64

Today, my mom is mad that she went clubbing and not one single guy offered to buy her a drink, but a couple of women did, which just pissed her off even more. I should point out the club she chose is the biggest gay club in our city, but then she’ll probably switch to being mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 115