Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I...

By Paws_Cat - 20/05/2015 18:35 - United States - North Dartmouth

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 850

You deserved it 2 868

Paws_Cat tells us more.

Paws_Cat 29

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Friday 22 May 2015 4:46

I like how everyone assumes that I was playing Grand Theft Auto. I wasn't. Also, this got published fast! I was expecting it to be a day or something!

Miscellaneous

Walk the line

Broken heart

Hiding from the drama

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 5 165

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 164

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 14:08

Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 3 311

By Foot In Mouth - 05/02/2009 22:56 - United States

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 188

You deserved it 36 332

All over the place

By unluckyinlove - 05/09/2021 00:31 - Australia - Ridgehaven

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me and now has a 4 year old, and as he’s told me, we should get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 69

Prosecution time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend posted a video of me going down on him online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 190

Wild Child

By epic flash - 02/10/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter's quirkiness and eccentricities may have gone to a whole new level when her school faculty described her as "no stranger to LSD". She's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 031

You deserved it 245

By thanksad - 23/08/2013 01:38 - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 344

You deserved it 3 667

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 21:23 - United States

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 512

You deserved it 3 277

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 02:05 - United States

Today, I told my husband that when I get my birth control taken out later this year, I would like to take a break from it for a while. He just said, "Condoms are too expensive and I don't want to waste $2 every time we do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 947

You deserved it 2 607

By Bostonian - 02/12/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 492

You deserved it 5 740

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 840

You deserved it 13 650

By cmondude - 18/09/2018 15:30

Today, I was finally cast in my high school play. As Violet. The gum chewer who turns into a blueberry. Does my instructor not know I'm a guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 500

You deserved it 322

By desocrates - 20/06/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 524

You deserved it 4 049

By bastards - 05/06/2014 20:05 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 947

You deserved it 4 197

By Nosmie - 17/06/2019 15:03

Today, the worst part about not having a sense of smell is that I can’t tell if anyone ate pizza without me. Unless I see an empty box in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 21:38 - Australia - Granville

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 328

You deserved it 20 491

By lizzzie - 09/10/2009 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 033

You deserved it 3 763

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 801

You deserved it 8 873

By honeybee2487 - 30/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 855

You deserved it 2 283

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 977

You deserved it 5 254

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 07:25 - France

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 045

You deserved it 6 270

By Andrew - 14/07/2015 17:59 - United States - Blackwood

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 2 751

By moosemay - 06/02/2016 11:42 - Germany - W?rzburg

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 171

You deserved it 2 055

Jealous?

By Jen - 24/01/2021 13:58 - United States

Today, my unborn child's father told me he stood outside of my friend's house for an hour in the snow in the middle of the night because he thought I was with another guy. I was at her house helping with her four kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 16/11/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Eastbourne

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 599

You deserved it 1 911

By drunkennight - 23/11/2009 03:45 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 968

You deserved it 42 232

By Username - 25/05/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 315

You deserved it 9 577

By laststand11 - 28/03/2012 22:49 - United States - Lexington

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 640

You deserved it 3 317

By Anonymous - 16/02/2014 19:21 - United States - Glasgow

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 129

You deserved it 3 842

By Anonymous - 17/02/2019 12:00

Today, my older, temporary coworker comments every time I yawn, sneeze, cough, leave my desk to use the restroom, and on what I eat at lunch, laughing the whole time. It’s driving me crazy. Only 8 more weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 144

By rock'n roller - 03/12/2013 03:42

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 593

You deserved it 6 444

By Emcee - 05/06/2009 10:48 - Philippines

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 577

You deserved it 6 154

By Anonymous - 13/08/2015 04:39 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 405

You deserved it 5 730

By Sarah_Mow - 28/10/2016 02:31

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 351

You deserved it 1 105

By fmypaint - 14/10/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 572

You deserved it 35 227

By anonymous - 23/11/2010 09:32

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I discovered she had been cheating on me. Her defense was, "It wouldn't be a problem if you were just OK with this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 798

You deserved it 3 095

By sadman - 07/05/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 369

You deserved it 11 669

By gibbette - 28/04/2013 17:32 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 501

You deserved it 7 288

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Top comments

Meepson 9

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:09

Give her the controller and I'll give her 5 minutes before she starts gunning it down the sidewalks...

EJ_Red 9

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:13

"Darn kids and their video games and their hippity-hop!" Just try explaining it to her, I'm sure she'll understand to some degree

blostrich_ 19

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:09

Well video games are very graphic nowadays.

sonasonic 34

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:56

And how does that make "driving erratically" as deadly as OP's grandma imagined?

ItsDutch 16

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Thursday 21 May 2015 1:02

I honestly don't see what this has to do with anything. I mean there are shows intended for kids that are worse than video games in that aspect.

Zufallian 34

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Thursday 21 May 2015 1:15

Oh my gosh, you sound like my mother. Video games are pixels on a screen, that's it. What you do in a vide game DOES NOT happen in real life. I can't play GTA withiut being judged by some family members because I'm shooting "people".

shemademedoit 20

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Thursday 21 May 2015 4:51

its GTA I bet

izntdan 14

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Thursday 21 May 2015 6:26

I think they meant the graphics are really good so it looks like real life. Not graphic as in violent

MzZombicidal 36

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Sunday 24 May 2015 8:37

To be fair, it probably doesn't help when you scream "die!" or "kill him!" to your pals lol

Meepson 9

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:09

Give her the controller and I'll give her 5 minutes before she starts gunning it down the sidewalks...

Kiki242 19

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:23

Laughing as she does it

jtfrisch 22

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Thursday 21 May 2015 4:14

If this was gta I'd give her far less time before she mass murders everyone on the sidewalk

worldclassrager 39

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:11

Well if it was need for speed or GTA I can understand driving like that...maybe a calmer car game won't set your grandma off as easy

thatoneguy1111 15

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Thursday 21 May 2015 14:43

What calmer driving games do you know? I have never driven slow on a video game

False_Stupidity 41

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Saturday 23 May 2015 22:09

Bus simulator?

stimpy27 3

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Sunday 24 May 2015 22:23

Do you not know what gaming is? When driving on games you are meant to run people over!

ASeeR 14

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:12

haha she should take license as well

EJ_Red 9

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:13

"Darn kids and their video games and their hippity-hop!" Just try explaining it to her, I'm sure she'll understand to some degree

marulicko 19

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Thursday 21 May 2015 7:05

Hahahahahaha I loooooooooove your use of "hippity-hop"! 10/10 fishdicks

pabj208 23

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:14

You'd better hope she never watches you play GTA...

MrConcise 34

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Thursday 21 May 2015 9:11

Even if OP tried to humor his grandmother and follow the driving laws, the cops would just end up crashing into him and giving him a wanted level. You can't win, OP. Throw in the towel.

pabj208 23

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Friday 22 May 2015 1:03

I was talking about the other 'activities' you get up to in GTA....

MrConcise 34

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Friday 22 May 2015 2:15

You mean like walking your dog, playing tennis, stopping robberies, and being a good Samaritan?

Paws_Cat 29

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Friday 22 May 2015 4:41

It was Forza Horizon. There are no police.

khloelpcn 15

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:17

My Grandmother would do the same thing OP! Wait til she sees you playing a wrestling game!

igg125 30

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:19

I would drive crazy on purpose

theTravinator 21

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:20

"You see sonny you kill the prostitute after, THAT way you get your money back"

thunderfucked 23

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:22

You never get the same amount of money back after you kill them.

theTravinator 21

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Thursday 21 May 2015 2:27

In GTA IV you did? I'm guessing you're talking about GTA V?

thunderfucked 23

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Thursday 21 May 2015 2:49

In Gta 5 if you pay $100, you'll only get about $70 back.

SookyLala 13

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Thursday 21 May 2015 5:42

hey, 70% off, not a bad bargain

theTravinator 21

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Thursday 21 May 2015 5:55

My bad- I was referring to GTA IV where you'd sometimes get even more money from the prostitute that you'd kill, I haven't really figured out the money side of GTA V yet though and I haven't played it in a while

ZombieVampirez 24

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Thursday 21 May 2015 0:22

Grandparents and technology don't mix. Haha

zRatio 6

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Thursday 21 May 2015 14:58

And have you noticed? All old people are trying to fit in with Technology by buying iPads! Its funny, they take it everywhere with them and when they run into a problem. They turn it off and wait for a younger child to try and help them.