Kids: Today, my four year old decided to poop on herself, play in it,... - FML

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By parrchristianna - 15/07/2016 21:08

Today, my four year old decided to poop on herself, play in it, toe paint (instead of finger painting). She was literally covered head to toe in poop. FML

agreeclassic 167

vote type 1 14

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SquilliamFancy 15

Saturday 16 July 2016 16:08

This is just one of the many classic examples as to why I will not have kids. I hope you bathed her, had her help you clean up her mess, and sent her to her room for a serious time out.

ayyy_bro 26

Sunday 17 July 2016 6:28

The worst ?

Comments

SquilliamFancy 15

Saturday 16 July 2016 16:08

This is just one of the many classic examples as to why I will not have kids. I hope you bathed her, had her help you clean up her mess, and sent her to her room for a serious time out.

ayyy_bro 26

Sunday 17 July 2016 6:28

The worst ?

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Today, my vet prescribed Xanax for my very anxious dog, because he keeps me awake all night whining and pacing. He slept soundly for about an hour, then woke up, threw up all over my carpet, and went right back to whining and pacing. FML

agreeclassic 19 820

vote type 1 1 709

Today, I got up at 2:30 a.m. to catch an early flight home. I was tired and drowsy and took a quick shower to wake me up. Two minutes in, the water turned scalding hot on all settings. I ended up having to rinse my hair with bottles of sparkling water from the hotel minibar. FML

agreeclassic 4 267

vote type 1 382

Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML

agreeclassic 1 174

vote type 1 236

Today, while I was doing my job as a groundskeeper, a couple of kids wearing MAGA hats threw garbage and rocks at me, then told me to "go back where you came from". I'm American, but I guess my beard makes me look like an immigrant or something, as this isn't the first time this has happened. FML

agreeclassic 8 247

vote type 1 1 036

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agreeclassic 26 069

vote type 1 3 776

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agreeclassic 32 402

vote type 1 2 421