Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter asked, "What would happen to me if you and daddy died?" I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said, "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, my 6 year-old son came up to me and asked "Dad, when you're dead, will you give me your wallet ?" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 years-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was being charming by smiling and batting his eyelashes at me. When I asked him, "What?" he replied, "When you die, can I have your hair?" FML
Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
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Top comments
LebowskiAchiever 3
Obviously you're doing something wrong. A child that young should be crying his little ass off even thinking about his mum dying.
FFML_314 12
Your kid is sadistic, but at least he's honest.
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Comments (135)
brycizzle 0
Hahahaha fail
wuzuppipol_fml 2
Ohhhhhh
awkward_gothlady 32
Try faking your death and see if he still feels the same way. That oughta show him...
Ugi 27
Kids have a very different and very changeable idea about what is important. If dad gives more treats etc then he is a better parent as far as a 4-year-old is concerned. Don't take it too seriously.
hegchog12 18
If a child that young says they like one parent more, chances are the parent just buys more sweets for them than the other parent.
NickACD 27
As a child of two divorced parents I can kind of understand this. I spend 5 days at my mother's house which provides better structure than my father's. I prefer the structure and stability at my mother's.
Slow_Learner 6
Electra complex.
fantasyworld 39
He's five he doesn't understand death. I also have a feeling that you provide structure and discipline in his life while dad lets him do whatever he wants.