This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By oledad - 21/12/2018 00:00

Today, my ex handed me a postitive pregnancy test while sobbing uncontrollably. Turns out drunken, lonely weekends with an old lover can have serious repercussions. Here's to 18 more years with the bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 373
You deserved it 1 597
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Top comments

inappropes 31

*Steve Irwin voice* Here we see the prime example of a dumbfuck. A very common species, but look at this one. It's a huge specimen. Perhaps he shall learn in the future to change his behaviour but chances are slim.

51 2
acmariner99 25

oh you so deserve this. maybe this will teach you to wear a rubber? or to not have drunken sex with an ex?

40 1

Comments

Phil 14

I agree that your life sucks. I also agree that you absolutely deserve it. I don't know what you were thinking(but I do know which head you were thinking with). All that being said, what's done can't be undone. There are options of course, none of them pleasant, nor easy. I wish you luck with whatever decision you come to. Just make the decision sober, and with your brain. I hope that the next Eighteen years, are filled with better decisions than you've made up 'til now.

4 0
crazycrochetlady 12

Should probably stop calling her a bitch since she was good enough to stick your dick in when you got a little lonely and horny.

9 2
IThriveWithYourPain 14

Last I checked abortion is legal, and the sobbing would indicate she is unhappy with it

1 0
maroongrad 13

Depends. In way too many places, it's something like a three-day wait and often several hours of driving and then several weeks to get an appointment. That's why so many women are going back to the coathanger abortions again.

0 0
clair_brodie 35

Unless she is more than 3 months along, then that three day wait is nothing. Even if they had to fly to a state where that is not an issue, it is still cheaper than having a kid.

0 0
jbuckets_404 38

Said the dumb-f*ck.... (literally) "And there's your sign!" --Bill Engvall

3 0
SamanthaThe1st 22

So you irresponsibly have sex with your ex while drunk, get her pregnant, and have the nerve to call her a bitch? **** you

1 0
maroongrad 13

Just because he's an asshole doesn't mean she's not a bitch. Sometimes like attracts like. It sure worked with the stupid.

2 0
maroongrad 13

Totally an FML for the kid.

2 0
Emma Marshall_738558922 12

Get an abortion. Would be way nicer than having a baby that neither of you want.

0 0
Jazmine Moore 6

Is that any way to speak of the mother of your child? you deserve this one, OP. hope it hurts good.

0 0