Health: Today, my depth perception has reached an all time low. I swatted...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By missadell - 04/05/2016 22:48 - United States - Statham

Today, my depth perception has reached an all time low. I swatted the "fly" in front of my face for ten minutes before I finally realised it was a black dot on the dry erase board in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 6

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Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Jealousy Social Media

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Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 100

Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 961

You deserved it 5 723

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 923

You deserved it 5 585

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 593

You deserved it 17 084

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 940

You deserved it 3 133

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I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 343