By Myyrh - 16/06/2015 01:48 - Switzerland - Basel
Myyrh tells us more.
Yaaaaaay it got publiiiished ! :D Hi everyone, OP here =) Time for explainations ! We've been in a long distance relationship for one year and a half. So when he came to my place, I made him meet my family and friends because I was so happy to be with him, but when I came to his place, I never met anyone beside his brothers and parents (I still haven't met one of his brothers who lives far away from both my place and my bf's place). My bf lives in a small village, his friends live somewhere else and so we could not randomly run into them either. At first it pissed me off that he didn't want to tell anyone (even our friends who knew both of us), but then he started to be ok with it and to tell everyone how lucky he was to have me. He told his very close friends though, but the other ones never knew about me. For those who say I should find someone else : before meeting me he was with a girl during 5 years and that time his family didn't know about her, on Facebook he was even acting like "if you know a cute girl, intoduce her to me, you know I'm single" etc, whereas I managed to make him remove the "single" from his profile page (now there is nothing, it's not written "in a relationship" either but at least, other girls won't see he's "single" anymore) and I was the first girlfriend he ever brought back home and introduced to his family. So I'm kind of a big deal ;) Tha main reason he didn't want to tell his friends is because he doens't like people to know about his private life, but also because he is tired of people gossiping. Also I never insisted too much on meeting his friends because I am really really really shy and was ok with not having to meet people I didn't know but who had known my bf for years. By the way, his friends were mad at him for not telling them for one and a half year, but he said it was his choice and he was ok with it. And finally, I was not really complaining, but people here had the same reaction as some of my friends, and I thought it was an... original situation ! =) So, there you go !
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I don't really buy this. It seems to me that he's the sort of person who doesn't want others to know of his relationship so that he can still act like he's single when he's out with his friends. And the previous thing with his ex on Facebook just proves this in my opinion.
No you are not a big deal. When a man truly falls in love he'd want everyone to know. He'd be grinning from ear to ear telling his friends and family who has been making him happy or he would "casually" slip a mention of you in every conversation he has. When a man falls in love you would know. They would know. Even if he chose to only tell the most important people in his life, people around him will notice. Which is not the case of your boyfriend. He isn't just a "private" person. He's just keeping his options open by not telling everyone about you. And one more thing. He's still single on Facebook. He just set his privacy settings so you won't see it.
Time to have a serious talk with him. It seems like he kept you a secret. Hope it works out.
He clearly isn't proud of you, otherwise he'd tell everyone. You deserve someone who isn't afraid to tell the world about you
Am I the only who thinks it's not that big a deal if his friends didn't know? I once dated a girl "lowkey" for 8 months and everything was going good. She decided to go public with our relationship and her "friends" started telling her all sorts of nonsense about me which weren't true. Eventually she broke up with me. Days later she came back asking me to take her back and that she had made a mistake. I didn't. Imo, lowkey relationships seem to last longer.
I agree to an extent. In my last relationship, I told everyone I had a boyfriend because I was so proud to call him mine. I found out though he didn't like telling people I was his girlfriend because he was embarrassed of me :/. So if the agreement isn't low key, something is wrong. Esp if he didn't want her to meet his friends
Don't listen to all the comments that are going say "you mean ex-boyfriend" a good relationship is built on trust and communication. I'm sure that you two can talk it through. Good luck OP