Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
At least you'd make it on 1000 Ways To Die.
dantee2005 33
Well, nothing for me to say "cockcicle" says it all
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Comments (128)
Jeffy91 28
Sounds like his dick is just too small to keep one on. lmao
Goblin182 27
Or, he came and lost his erection.
Sophie_Hart 9
Am I the only one who prefers the taste of penis more than flavoured condoms. Still taste like latex to me.
lonelyguy1995 5
The best thing I have read on the Internet today!
cappellaaa 23
ew...
deaddonkey 15
Instead of the flavored condoms you could try to flavored lube. Although then you might be here with an FML story about how you are pregnant.
villain1987 1
Natural selection at work here people!
homerr123 15
don't use condoms they are bad for health
MzZombicidal 36
Get out.
gabagabaheyu 10
Mmmm
TecheyTim 14
Some women just can't deepthroat properly.
gabagabaheyu 10
its all technique
dantee2005 33
You seem to be expert!
mrtonyanderson 20
Awesome lol
hatemyluck 15
This post makes me hungry..and ashamed.
lonelyguy1995 5
Hungry for....? oh wait never mind