Today, my birthday is approaching, and I'm once again brooding... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Early-Out - 06/12/2022 01:02 - United States

Today, my birthday is approaching, and I'm once again brooding over the fact that I was a preemie. Had I not been born more than a month early, I would have a birthday in late January, one that doesn't get overshadowed by Christmas. Instead, I got placed right in the middle of December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 102

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Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

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I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 494

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

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You deserved it 3 581

The Top

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 281

You deserved it 3 292

Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 361

You deserved it 4 136

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

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You deserved it 3 109

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 4 355

Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 375

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 961

You deserved it 3 098