Miscellaneous: Today, It's Friday the thirteenth. I woke up to the sound of... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By xdzy - 13/05/2016 23:17 - United States - Anchorage

Today, It's Friday the thirteenth. I woke up to the sound of my closet door creeping open. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 9

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Top comments

LiliK_fml 21

Saturday 14 May 2016 15:20

Well, you apparently don't anymore.

Comments

LiliK_fml 21

Saturday 14 May 2016 15:20

Well, you apparently don't anymore.

Keywords

Awkward Love Relatable Students Work Racism Relationship advice Health Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Parenting Kids Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, my husband pathetically tried to convince me that his “friend” has his Facebook password, and “hacks” into his account to message another woman using his profile. The dick picture he sent her by text message? His “friend” has his iCloud password and “hacked” it, and sent it himself. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 168

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 691

You deserved it 6 083

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 303

You deserved it 5 689

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 922

You deserved it 2 098

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 862

You deserved it 20 285

Today, I was harshly scolded by a woman who claimed I "can't get over the Covid hysteria" because I was wearing a mask outside in public. I wear a mask whenever I'm outside because of seasonal allergies, and I have not caught Covid since November 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 178

Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 504

You deserved it 1 131