Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
creepermagnet tells us more.
Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.
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Top comments
Ender_ 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best pickup line ever.
mak_fml 0
D: oh god.
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Comments (910)
Why_Me77 0
I vote that he's one of those religous fanatic fundamentalists people... Just a thought. LOL, btw.. Hahahahaha!
AshleyScruggs 14
you're retarded
whocaresnotme 0
thats pretty creepy. i hope u stabbed him. or at least poared hot coffee on his seed-maker
AshleyScruggs 14
that's* I* you* poured*
meaganwas 0
Sweet zombie Jesus. Run. Change your number. Get the **** out.
Carribu 0
oh dear god, that's just CREEPY. but honestly...that's a little funny. i'm laughing and i feel bad for you.
hayleykaulitz 0
This is one of the ONLY FML's I've acctually LOL'd at. Bahahaha. SO CLASSIC!
jessce7 0
LOL he's a freak
catchthisdrift 0
you brave little girl.... i have goosebumps just thinking about this. it sounds like the beginning of a horror movie...
Dr_Quackerr 0
HAHAHAHAHA creepiness at its best! I'm SO remembering this to scare off guys. " So, feel this right here? Soon this will be plump with your seed." :D
_degaussed 0
So creepy!
rednaxela_fml 0
he's a keeper!