Miscellaneous: Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke,...

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 1 007

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

genius_man16 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 20:23

BAHAHAHA You got owned by a kitten. YDI so much.

orangerocker26 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 20:24

why in the hell would you dutch oven your own cat. you deserved it.

Comments

HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:30

Buying a new cat toy $5 Buying some catfood $3.99. Having your balls bitten by a kitten after trying to give it a Dutch oven? .. PRICELESS

PJB4466 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:32

Who were you joking with? Your cat? I'm sure he found it humorous...

eric780 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:37

Why. The. Hell. Would. You. Fart. On. A. Kitten.

scateice 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:38

scateice 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:38

FMLgirlx3 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:38

You deserve it asshole. Poor kitten. But that made me lmfao. Wow. Hope there's a place where you can get a new sack. Haha (:

Stay_beautiful 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:39

LMFAO!! i read this 10 minutes ago, and im still laughing. Never underestimate the will of a kitten. NEVER!

twilax101 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:45

You dont jack with cats.

thumb_biter 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:46

that second sentence=ydi^5000

Kuroftw 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:51

Owned.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Relatable Doctor Work Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Friends Parents Awkward Liar My ex NSFW Intimacy Art Crush Love Weird Grandparents Kids Gross Poopoo peepee Divorce Cancer Scams Tinder Cooking Annoying Money Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 71

Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 119

Random

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 539

You deserved it 30 142

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 862

You deserved it 2 586

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 082

You deserved it 6 337

Today, I had an important appointment for a job. During the interview, my cellphone rang. My ringtone is "Denver, the last Dinosaur". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 192

You deserved it 31 853

Today, so you know how in the movies there’s a dad who discovers he’s not actually the dad because they had to get a DNA test, and it’s funny because it’s all just a movie. Real life isn’t that funny. My twin boys had to go to hospital for blood tests and so on, and it turns out they’re not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 84

Today, my wife doesn't remember that last night when she was so drunk (light weight) that she kept telling me to pick up the thingy off the floor and was pointing at it. We went back and forth about it for a few minutes. There was nothing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 98