Animals: Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues"....

By That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - 04/01/2014 07:21 - United States

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 288

You deserved it 4 246

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 237

It's not what you think

By tessykins - 22/10/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 368

You deserved it 3 299

By Anonymous - 20/07/2013 21:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 576

You deserved it 3 970

By Anizzaf - 27/01/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 3 133

Down the rabbit hole of assumptions

By Not Suicidal - 02/07/2020 05:04

Today, a lady talking about the Bible came to my house. She looked at me and said I wouldn't need to cut myself if I had God in my life. Mom heard and did a thorough investigation of my body for scars. I had to bathe my rabbit last night, and he scratched me. They were from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 152

Thanks, hun

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, at work, one of my 6 year-old students, who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me, "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said, "Your arms are hairy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 422

You deserved it 4 385

Bad women's anatomy

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 96

By loverofstrife - 07/10/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 100

You deserved it 5 616

By CyberPsycho - 28/07/2016 16:24 - United States - Nashville

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 120

You deserved it 6 130

By rhartnett11 - 16/02/2011 12:56

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 41 177

Robbieisadowg 16

Saturday 4 January 2014 18:55

I was in this exact situation once (except it was my dog). I'm sure people will understand (eventually). At least people care about you!

juststephhere 23

Saturday 4 January 2014 18:56

Maybe it's the parrot who needs counselling...

Comments

yeti37 16

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:07

Hard to convince the counselor of the story, but look at it another way, the other kids cared enough to say something to the school. That's what they should do. Good for them!

angelitared 27

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:08

Cut the parrot.

krupa1017 18

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:13

Animal abuse.

Bzu123 8

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:10

at least your classmates care enough to report it.

Grauncho 27

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:19

Fun fact: parrots consider regular petting to be foreplay. I wish I were making this up.

lightburns 10

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:28

Hello Cracked reader :)

challan 19

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:48

Fun fact... so do women.

caysters 12

Saturday 4 January 2014 22:57

My friend's dad has a bird, the bird loves him very much. They learned he was masturbating himself on his shoulder when they figured out what the spots were he kept leaving on his shoulder. Lol