mattcy1 - 31/01/2016 19:42 - Canada - Mississauga Today, I strained so hard to take a dump that my nose started bleeding. FML. 1 0
Today, I discovered that the vitamin I've been taking for hair growth actually works really well. Unfortunately, it only works on my leg hair. FML 19 723 1 838
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML 16 704 69 547
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML 42 417 15 749
Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML 52 048 3 926
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML 3 384 239