By Orchidmurderer - 21/12/2017 09:00 - New Zealand

Today, I received a housewarming gift from an easily offended friend of mine. I recently explained to her how terrible I am at keeping plants alive. What did she get me? An orchid. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 754
You deserved it 404

Top comments

She probably specifically chose an orchid as the plant to give you because they're extremely easy to keep alive. set it next to a window and water it once a week and it will be fine.

I suppose she should've gone with a cactus.

Comments

She probably specifically chose an orchid as the plant to give you because they're extremely easy to keep alive. set it next to a window and water it once a week and it will be fine.

onceuponatime456 16
boopingsnoot 24

I think maybe a cactus or a lithops would've been a bit better

I suppose she should've gone with a cactus.

exileonmainst 16

She probably just thought you were bad at keeping lead singers of Led Zeppelin alive.

ViviMage 38

Don't water the roots. But ice cubes between the roots. And water very very sparingly

Lobby_Bee 17

Enjoy it while it lasts. Poor orchid.

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iny0urjuicebox 7

well you got a warm greeting, lol

Orchids are really easy to tend to :) just water them a little once a week, put them somewhere with sunlight and maybe give them a tiny bit of cold coffee as fertilizer every couple weeks and they should be fine. They lose their flowers once every second or third month. Dont throw them away! They start sprouting again soon after

onceuponatime456 16

Make sure she becomes an EX-friend! A friend listens to what you are saying instead of doing the exact opposite so she can be offended! You may want to tell her to get a thicker skin, too!

julfunky 29

Ex-friend because she got her a plant as a gift? A bit overdramatic.

I think ex friend bc the friend gets offended easily. I couldn't be friends with sometime like that, always having to watch what you say or how you react, gift exchange etc. nobody has time for that.

dont get water on the leaves. that will cause stem rot and kill the orchid. you can leave it in bark and water only the substrate or you can look up water culture. i do it with mine and they love it