Today, I realized that the healthcare forms I filled out only... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By TooOldToBeThisDumb - 14/10/2017 00:23

Today, I realized that the healthcare forms I filled out only cover physical and mental health. Not dental or vision. I'm pretty sure I have a cavity and my current glasses that I've had for about three years annoy the bridge of my nose almost every time I use them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 14

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Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 84

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 2 748

The Top

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 842

You deserved it 1 595

Today, after two years of torture being secretly in love with a married woman, two months ago she initiated things and we became lovers. Now she says even if she divorces, she wouldn't want me as a partner, because a honest man would never "do what I'm doing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 2 721

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 144

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 106

You deserved it 38 208

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 878

You deserved it 10 522

Today, I found out my son is getting bullied. His stepdad doesn’t care, in fact he’s all for bullying because he thinks it will force my son to stop being smart, or "a dork" as he calls him, and fit in with the normal kids for a change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 187