Today, I realized that every single story I've submitted to the...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 09/03/2024 23:13 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I realized that every single story I've submitted to the FML site has been posted, without exception. I don't know whether to be pleased at the results, or depressed that my experiences have been so fully qualified to be on the site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 29

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 843

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I politely asked my neighbor if she could tell her kids to be a little more quiet, and I guess I wasn't the first one to approach her. She slammed the door in my face, but not before screaming, "I bet none of you would be doing this if we were white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 99

Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 686

You deserved it 758

Today, my husband is so bored with speaking to me, he literally walked outside when I was mid-sentence during a conversation about how I need more attention in our relationship. We've only been married 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 395

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 706

You deserved it 3 135

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

Today, I accidentally fell asleep in class due to a new medication I’ve started. My teacher also thought it would be funny to blow an air horn in my ear in front of everyone, scaring me half to death. I’m currently pissed off while waiting to take this up with administration as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 270