Well if an ape can do your job, and your skills are that of a monkey...

Better start polishing up on your poo throwing abilities. It's about the only thing you're qualified for at this point.

Chimps are also notorious for their prodigious masturbation skills.

Perhaps you're assuming that the OP has "polished up" on those skills already?

I feel like that is just an excuse to fire you. I dont know, but thats just what I think.

Don't worry op, there's plenty of other jobs out there!
But for now, take revenge by taking the chimp's job.
Go to Africa, live in a tree, eat bananas, throw some shit, and live in the forest.

Sounds more like a vacation!

OP here, I didn't expect this to get posted so I made an account :)

Your comments genuinely made me laugh! Since this got posted, here's some background for you: this happened to me two years ago, after I had worked for them for over a decade. While it wasn't the greatest job in the world, it felt like a calling to me. There's nothing I love more than making people (especially children) laugh. I later found out that they fired me because my boss wanted to impress his new girlfriend by giving her niece (who happens to be a chimp handler/animal trainer) a job. It was a small company and they couldn't afford to keep the both of us on, so I had to go :(
But it's all good, I got lucky and found myself a similar job with better pay and benefits. :)

"jungle"

I do agree that animals are more entertaining than humans, but there still has to be a person to make stuff entertaining. FYL

It's so easy, an ape can do it.

How are you doing to pay off your tens of thousands of dollars in student debt to the Julliard School of Hat-Wearing and Balloon-Holding?

OP will have to borrow money from Koko the Chimp. HOPE he doesn't charge interest.

i really hope that "chimp" is a metaphor or something otherwise that is incredibly dangerous and want nothing to do with that circus

He has an animal handler with him at all times, so it isn't really dangerous. I've met him and he's lovely, he adores humans and is really friendly.

Maybe you should quit monkeying around and find another job.

They probably just figured they don't have to pay you if a monkey can do your job

Soon, the bosses will replace the monkey with a robot.