Today, I realised that a monkey can do my job. I was fired as an entertainer at the local fairground and literally replaced by a chimpanzee. He wears a hat and can hold balloons. FML
OP here, I didn't expect this to get posted so I made an account :)
Your comments genuinely made me laugh! Since this got posted, here's some background for you: this happened to me two years ago, after I had worked for them for over a decade. While it wasn't the greatest job in the world, it felt like a calling to me. There's nothing I love more than making people (especially children) laugh. I later found out that they fired me because my boss wanted to impress his new girlfriend by giving her niece (who happens to be a chimp handler/animal trainer) a job. It was a small company and they couldn't afford to keep the both of us on, so I had to go :(
But it's all good, I got lucky and found myself a similar job with better pay and benefits. :)
Better start polishing up on your poo throwing abilities. It's about the only thing you're qualified for at this point.