Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML
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Top comments
Zack6849 8
How the hell did a toy hand get up your dog's ass? on second thought, don't want to know.
Chelsea_bella 20
You got the shit slapped out of you while at the same time, getting the shit slapped onto you.
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Comments (120)
averypoorman 5
Never have I laughed this hard at an FML
worldclassrager 41
Anyone need a hand? It was probably mad at you... Anyway FYL...
worldclassrager 41
And why didn't you let nature take its course? I meant to add that but drew a blank...
phoneYuNOlisten 16
How the **** does that happen?
Omniprism 15
One of our dogs when I was young ate his very thin blanket and my grandma had to help him "pass" it. Same dog at another point sat on a cactus.
swordidfate 13
How much tv do you have to watch before you figure out you DON'T look down the barrel
mattrd_fml 31
how did it vet there in the first place. Fyl op.
steph4u 10
The dog ate the toy, it got stuck coming out.
erck3800 12
YDI, next time don't stare into your dog's butthole while you pull something stretchy out of it
KaylaTackett 18
LMFAO!!!!