Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML
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Top comments
Zack6849 8
How the hell did a toy hand get up your dog's ass? on second thought, don't want to know.
Chelsea_bella 20
You got the shit slapped out of you while at the same time, getting the shit slapped onto you.
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Comments (120)
chocolatefrog28 29
Sure, we're the ones that own pet dogs, and not the other way around...
brittyboo123 35
Eew I hope your mouth was closed!
jessanne0122 9
How'd did it get up there?
yourmurderscenex 13
seriously why do you people keep asking this. how else does stuff come out of a dogs ass?! he obviously didn't put it up there.
princess51423 15
Why did you have to?
japan166 8
I once had to pull string out my cats butt because she ate it.... it was weird.
joea21 21
I want to know how there was enough of the sticky hand out of it's ass for you to grab. Either way... Priceless hahaha
yourmurderscenex 13
that's one way to get bitch slapped.
amiewithaj 13
I shouldn't have laughed at this as hard as I did.
venom2421 10
The stupidity of some commenters never ceases to amaze me, obviously the dog ate it.
oopsfail 11
Read it in math class and almost died hahaha. thanks for the laugh but sorry for the slap of shit in your face :)