Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML
Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML
Today, I have brain damage, no two ways about it, because I had mumps as a child that caused my brain to swell. I just found out I only got mumps because my dad lied to my mom about getting me vaccinated, because he was too cheap to pay for it. FML
Today, my 61 year-old father snatched a letter from my hands and threw four different fits because he misread it four different times, then yelled at me for "not reading it properly." I had to explain it to him. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
He must have hit his head when he rofl'd
perdix 31
OMG, I LOL'd and then I had to STFU and CTFD. I guess YOLO and mine is almost over. S2BM (sucks to be me, just made that 1 up :) )
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Comments (70)
Sacytrl 28
Your father is either really gullible and trusts you a great deal, or you have a great potential in being a salesperson
JustNatalie 8
Like I convinced my four-year-old sister that if you watch enough commercials, your brain will melt and run out through your ears
Jebitesevsi 11
No, text speak is a consequence of brain damage.
Scottstrikes 0
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