Miscellaneous: Today, I had to awkwardly explain to my friend in the middle...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By tabbycacti - 17/03/2016 10:17 - Australia - Matraville

Today, I had to awkwardly explain to my friend in the middle of a crowded library that the pronunciation of 'cement' was not 'semen', after she started rambling on about 'the semen industry'

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Relatable Students Mental health Work Parenting Kids Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Wanker Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 043

You deserved it 4 454

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 3 795

The Top

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 020

You deserved it 5 269

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 319

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 249

Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 112

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 240

You deserved it 3 316

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 409

You deserved it 3 818