Health: Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 072

You deserved it 2 671

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Same thing different taste

Drink it instead!

By SpitBreathe - 25/10/2020 14:00 - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 75

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 951

You deserved it 8 654

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 331

You deserved it 2 603

Grossed out

By Jodi Sanford - 09/10/2021 11:01

Today, I asked my roommate to spit in the toilet instead of the sink so I wouldn't have to touch it. When I rinsed the sink after brushing my teeth, he said, "Why would you touch the sink? It’s gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 286

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 685

You deserved it 2 811

The runs

By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 75

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 528

You deserved it 1 371

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 026

You deserved it 46 422

Gross!

By cantstopfeelingit - 16/12/2019 05:00

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 2 473

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 526

You deserved it 3 128

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 20 March 2012 18:51

As long as it isn't a communal bottle of mouthwash, you're probably fine. If it is, WHY THE **** ARE YOU SHARING MOUTHWASH?

Zmeilerr 22

Tuesday 20 March 2012 18:50

I wonder what else he spits.

Comments

HaleyStutler 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:25

why would you share mouth wash in the first place? that's icky!

ELL10TT203 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:38

I'd **** that nigga up

ELL10TT203 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:45

Jack off in it n let him gargle it

Minnesota_Chelse 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:30

I'm pretty sure you would see his sperm floating around in the bottle. He should just put some super glue into the bottle of hand lotion next to his bed!

ELL10TT203 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 11:20

That's good too, I guess

ethanmommy09 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:57

Yuck!!!

xxmeowxx43 1

Wednesday 21 March 2012 4:11

Well isn't that absolutely cute.

SebastianG 2

Wednesday 21 March 2012 4:14

Why are you sharing mouthwash?

linkinpark98 23

Wednesday 21 March 2012 4:44

Hey, the man knows how to recycle! :)

pinkpixie06 11

Wednesday 21 March 2012 6:28

*GAG*

Quagmire69 5

Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:10

You can get him back by jerking off into his shampoo bottle.

Minnesota_Chelse 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:25

Maybe it's time to start using your own mouthwash. Why were you sharing in the first place though?

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 266

You deserved it 2 123

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML

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You deserved it 5 867

The Top

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 995

You deserved it 289

Today, I work in HR and last week we'd hired an apprentice for our repair shop. He was great. I spent $500 company dollars on his uniform. Later, he called me saying he had been offered a job paying $10 more an hour than what we were offering, as much as our experienced workers make. I either have to match it, or be out a helper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 1 062

Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 77

Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 104

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 259

You deserved it 19 927

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 509

You deserved it 33 857