21
MissMoonpie Say more :
OP here. To clear some things up, my dad and mum divorced like 9 years ago. The fact that he has a girlfriend doesn't bother me at all. It is more the fact that I know this trough my brother that bothers me. I'm at my dorm for a month because I have to take exams (in Belgium it is normal to spend the weekends at home and the weekdays in your dorm, but now I am at my dorm for a month), so I haven't seen my father for quite some time. When I found out she is going to move in with us was a complete shock for me. I don't know her, nor does she now me, and my father hadn't even told me about her. He called me (after I called my grandma because I was very upset) and said not to worry. If she's moving in, it will be for November. By that time I will have met her (hopefully).
By MissMoonpie - / Saturday 27 August 2016 12:21 / Belgium - Leuven
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments

Very odd from your dad and his girlfriend. You'd think he'd want his kids to get to know about his girlfriend before she moves in, and you'd think that she'd want to know the kids before actually living with them. But eh, what do I know?

By  awildwhisper  |  28

That's quite the surprise! I suggest sitting down with your father and talking with him about both your feelings. He is an adult and has the right to make his own decisions, but you also deserve to be included in them.

Comments
By  Miss_Whipped  |  41

This is one of those things in life that happens. My parents separated when I was young and dated multiple people throughout my adolescence. I say, as long as she makes him happy, maybe it was worth it for him to wait on telling you. (I'll admit, moving in is quite a big jump.) I know that when parents have a special someone in their life, especially when it is someone new, bringing that person around their kid(s) can be a big deal. Maybe he wants to fast forward through the awkward stage.

Reply
  XxNekoLovexX  |  26

I mean I would say that it would make things even more awkward seeing as OP doesn't know the woman at all and suddenly will be sharing a space with her. Personally I'd be weirded out.

Reply

I disagree with this, I think it's completely unfair to not introduce your new gf/bf to your kids, much less move them in, especially since they're is an awkward stage. Why would you want that stage while living together and no one can get away from each other? I understand if they're brand new and the parent isn't ready for the introducing step yet, but once it becomes a serious partner, you need to introduce them before taking any more steps. Your kid should be the most important thing in your life, without introducing them you don't know if your new partner gets along or treats your kid right, you don't know if your kid likes your new partner, which is important. I'm sure we've all heard stories of new bf/gfs treating their partner's kid(s) like shit simply because it isn't their kid, "evil step mother." You're risking a lot by not introducing them, and most importantly, you're risking your kid. I'm sorry to say this, but your kid's well-being trumps your happiness with your new partner. My parents aren't together either, and although my dad introduced me to his new gfs sometimes, he also did a lot without telling or asking me. He lives with my grandma and grandpa, and grandma is a sweet lady who can't say no, his one gf had 3 kids. Well he moved her and the 3 kids into the house he shares with them, and later, her best friend, her bf and their 2 kids as well. In this 4 bedroom house, which comes down to 2 because my grandparents sleep separately, there was 8-11 people in it and I'm there on weekends. It was hell, the kids got what used to be my bedroom because there was no other option, and that left me with either the couch, or with my grandma. He did this all without asking or even letting me know. I was a 13-15yr old without any privacy or place to go to get away from these 5 kids that were all under the age of 10 and they were incredibly rowdy. I eventually stopped going over there because I couldn't handle it. You need to consider your own kid when a new partner comes along, they come first.

Reply
  Lalala579121  |  27

Like 5 said, that would just make things even more awkward. I'd imagine/hope that they at least talked about his kids, and that the girlfriend at least knows he has kids, but it's still unfair to both parties for the father to not have them meet at some point prior to moving in. What if the kid and girlfriend hate each other? Then the father has to choose between his kid and his girlfriend, and what do you do there?

Very odd from your dad and his girlfriend. You'd think he'd want his kids to get to know about his girlfriend before she moves in, and you'd think that she'd want to know the kids before actually living with them. But eh, what do I know?

By  awildwhisper  |  28

That's quite the surprise! I suggest sitting down with your father and talking with him about both your feelings. He is an adult and has the right to make his own decisions, but you also deserve to be included in them.

By  BulgyCashew33  |  16

I can kind of understand why he did this, he may of just been waiting to meet the right person he'd want to let into his home and see his family, which would be you. My boyfriends mother has a similar situation with my boyfriend and his brother. She is divorced and she dates and everything, but never tells them about boyfriends because she's not sure if they're the right one to let into her home without changing everything majorly. Although she's told me if it were ever to become more permanent they'd be the first to know.

Reply
  thatweirdasian  |  22

This is much more than just letting the right person into his home and seeing his family. Rather, he's having his girlfriend move in without telling OP first. Pretty disrespectful of the father. So, it's a little different than your boyfriend and his mother's situation.

By  Liyara  |  8

Wow... this could've been me. I'm originally from Vlaams-Brabant and my dad's girlfriend had moved in without me knowing anything about it while I was away for a week. Pretty shocking, to say the least.

By  Isamermaid  |  16

My dad waited until I moved out for college, before he moved in his girlfriend and her kid, and didn't tell me. Awkward showing up to Thanksgiving and realizing you weren't actually invited and there's no space for you in the house you grew up in.

Loading data…