Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML
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Top comments
Eaglestrike117 29
Stand up for yourself. She was coming on to you.
ibeinpain 5
Say, "That was a woman?!" I bet that would piss him off.
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Comments (115)
21jason 9
Move bitch get out the way!!
ykthechild 0
I'm running over niggas like a runaway train
hateevryone 15
she need to be slapped because she started hitting on you. you didn't deserve that.
jrsylilballer6 7
I never thought "the situation " would make an Fml
hannahmorgan06 7
Hahaha! Sounds just like him.
ananonymousguy 0
Don't even mention him. You two should get auto-banned.
crazyrunnergirl 7
Punch him in the face and say " that's what you get for touching ME"
perdix 31
"I didn't know she was your woman, but she did. You should have smacked her!"
coltsrock37 15
She was grinding on you, dunno why he's all bitchy about it. If he's that insecure about girls dancing with guys other than himself, he needs help
Michael_92 20
You don't see a problem with your girlfriend grinding on other guys? Sorry but your the one that needs help.
DKjazz 20
YDI for touching his woman.
THE_A_TEEN 28
He didn't know that was his girlfriend or in asshole terms, "my woman".
bonda13 0
to bad. Btw The gal was a total.
j_cat187 20
Total, like the cereal?
ninjuh_wingman 29
If she was hitting on you, than she was either really drunk or she wants you more than her actual man
DontClickOnMe 28
Didn't he see her dancing with you though.. I mean it's not like you were forcing her to dance with you. He should've pimp slapped that hoe!