Today, after flirting like crazy, I finally got the chance to... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Unpleasant surprise - 16/01/2017 17:24

Today, after flirting like crazy, I finally got the chance to hook up with this incredibly hot, incredibly ripped guy at my gym. Things were hot and heavy until we got naked and we're about to seal the deal. Guess the rumors about steroids and penis size are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 91

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

brewmasterg 34

Sunday 22 January 2017 11:54

Well that's not very nice. You'd be okay with him using steroids if his penis was bigger? What if he's worked really hard to get fit because he has low self esteem BECAUSE of his small penis? This comes off as extremely judgmental and superficial and I really have a difficult time feeling sorry for you at all.

Comments

andersaonsliva 9

Sunday 22 January 2017 5:59

Use his muscle

brewmasterg 34

Sunday 22 January 2017 11:54

Well that's not very nice. You'd be okay with him using steroids if his penis was bigger? What if he's worked really hard to get fit because he has low self esteem BECAUSE of his small penis? This comes off as extremely judgmental and superficial and I really have a difficult time feeling sorry for you at all.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Money Divorce Education Health Miscellaneous Relatable Sports Love Abuse Kids Annoying Hospital Wanker Intimacy Addiction Management Language DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Cooking Coworkers Anniversary Transportation Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old

The Top

The Top

Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 493

You deserved it 6 606

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 033

You deserved it 28 877

Today, it's my 30th Birthday. The day started with me tripping in the shower and breaking my arm, continued with a car crashing into our car in the hospital parking, and ended with yet another car crash while finally driving home. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 204

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 276

Today, I discovered my boyfriend gets lunch every day at Burger King. I confronted him, and he broke up with me. Apparently, he only pretended to be vegan like me to get in my pants, and now the jig is up he dumped me so he can return to having meat at all three meals of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 1 885

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my friend. It wasn't until I got there that I realized I'd come on the wrong day. Her flight arrived yesterday, so that explains her radio silence for the past two days. I just thought she was in transit, but turns out she's pissed at me and wants me to pay for the Uber ride she had to take home from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 628