That's more than I asked for By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 613 You deserved it 4 828 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 599 You deserved it 4 422
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML I agree, your life sucks 33 178 You deserved it 3 795
Today, I returned from vacation overseas to find I'd lost my job. The manager approved my leave, but forgot to put it in the system, so I was written up repeatedly for not showing up. If I want my job back, I have to wait 90 days and apply to start over. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 999 You deserved it 178
Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 379 You deserved it 3 041
Today, I spent all day baking dog-safe cookies for my pup's birthday. He sniffed them, turned around, and started begging for one of MY processed garbage cookies from a store instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 308 You deserved it 243
Today, I was sitting in a bar telling some young dude to accept responsibility for his life choices. I'm over 50 and was spending my last five dollars on beer. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 600 You deserved it 25 710
well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
use it to tape your cleavage shut