frustrated
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Gosport, United Kingdom
Skincare
Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm assuming this splinter was the size of a twig? Maybe you should leave this kind of stuff to the professionals, genius.
sarah6786 14
You should listen to him, he's a doctor.
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Comments (114)
DocBastard 40
I'm assuming this splinter was the size of a twig? Maybe you should leave this kind of stuff to the professionals, genius.
sarah6786 14
You should listen to him, he's a doctor.
guitarbeast 22
Sounds like you're trying to drum up business doc
Roevera 14
However! There may have been an embarrassing story behind this 'twig' and how it became one with OP's hand. That going to the doctor would cause further embarrassment!
Welshite 40
I've done the same thing as OP but my splinter was a nearly microscopic metal shard. It hurt enough that ripping open my skin was less painful. :)
P1P_BOY 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
patient:i need a doctor! doc bastard: for what? patient: i ripped my skin open doc: doing what exatly? patient: trying to pull out a splinter doc : looks like another story for the blog i guess
Rowdey 10
Gee, 35. I've never seen someone kill a joke that badly.
P1P_BOY 6
it was never meant to be a joke it was meant to be a real world depiction of what might happen if op where to see doc b. But your right how it would have been a bad joke
Rowdey 10
Uhh, okay?
DocBastard 40
Elena - I'm sure splinters would get seen by an ER doc. I am NOT an ER doc. I have seen a lot of broken glass embedded in lacerations, though. That's fun to remove!
saintsrocksocks 10
65- Like your profile picture?
TBelle4Ever 15
Hey Doc, I have a question about your profile pic. What is that object embedded near the calcaneus bone?
_Oblivion_ 12
I prefer using a chainsaw as means of removing any foreign objects lodged in my skin. Not only does the pain go away by slicing through the nerves, you cant get a splinter again because there's nithin left to splinter into.
_Oblivion_ 12
Holy shit my post is a grammatical nightmare
Welshite 40
#82: It's still better than some I've seen on this site.
cjack188 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not to sound rude but why does everyone look up to this " DocBastard" guy on FML?? If he's a real doctor, fair enough, but if he isn't, I really hope everyone actually listens to a real doctor........
GigiMcGee 9
105 Prepare to get downvoted to hell..
_Oblivion_ 12
105 How the **** do you know if he is or not? Go to his blog and all further questions should be answered. I have never seen anyone stupid enough to fake their employment on this site
DocBastard 40
cjack188 - Yeah, that DocBastard guy is nothing more than a self-important, self-righteous douche! If you have any questions regarding my credentials, please PM me.
penguinsniper822 4
Trust him he's a doctor
cjack188 13
Gotta love how everyone over reacts on FML, people need to get a life...
GigiMcGee 9
115 Says the one who loves Harry Potter ;)
cjack188 13
Harry Potter's awesome. Having a like doesn't make you lifeless
Rowdey 10
117 - Fml is our "like." From what I hear, having a like doesn't make you lifeless.
Zahmed17 0
Shut up bitch
isallwaysme 27
i wish my doctor was as cool and witty as Docbastard
Bonzer 2
I can't even imagine how that could've happened.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Terrorists. (Sorry, I just felt the urge to say it since it was George W. Bush's excuse for everything.) l=^P
Psych101 9
17- And a damn good excuse. I can't tell you how many times terrorists have tried to prod me to death with small pieces of wood, in the hopes that the splinters would get me.
Welshite 40
Dude, seriously? Please limit political comments to forums and websites devoted to such opinions.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Sorry… it was meant as a sarcastic joke. He is something to joke about, right? (I'm too you to fully understand but he was a bad president, no?)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#26 I meant Young not you. :X
Ozuru 11
What's there not to get? OP dug, tore, and dug some more until he got the splinter out, and indirectly ripped up his hand.
TheDragonWarrior 5
Perhaps, though I'm contemplating, the OP had the splinter on his dominant hand and was extremely poor at coordinating the tweezers in his less dominant hand and ended up taking out more than just the splinter. Ouch.
bigtaytay 13
Yeah I'm having a hard time imagining how it could happen. Unless he calls tweezers is his word for scissors...or chainsaw
Link5794 18
Have you ever tried to get out a tiny splinter? It's not easy.
magicman13 9
Failure
saintsrocksocks 10
Well, that might be the reason it's on FML. I may be wrong tho. But what do I know? I'm only 12.
Bonzer 2
You are clearly 13.
Psych101 9
12- You can't blame him for not knowing his age, he's only 12. I think.
saintsrocksocks 10
Why do people get the impression that I'm 13. I'm turning 13 September 19th. Gifts are appreciated. Just checked my profile. To the account settings!
saintsrocksocks 10
Oh my God. I'm too young for FML.
Rowdey 10
I think the mods had a hand in comment 41 haha.
eeppiicc 8
Tell them you wrestled a shark
TrueTriage 16
Sharks make everything sound cooler...
saintsrocksocks 10
No. Tell them that you wrestled a shark for a strip of bacon.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
No, tell them you wrestled a bear for a nutritious apple.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
No tell them you played a trick on big foot with Jack Links beef jerky. Messin' with Sasquatch.
Rainbowjumper0 12
No, tell them... Oh who cares
jetsown08 21
No, this is Patrick!
saintsrocksocks 10
Removing splinters on your own is dangerous. I have people who take care of stuff like that. My parents.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
I have a splinter in my foot that's been there for years now. (Of course I can't feel it anymore but if I look close enough I can see it) And a lead pencil point in my right palm. (That too if I look close enough is still visible). Point is, you gotta take em out. If not they'll stay there.
putloginhere 6
Well youre 13. This guy has a job and im assuming hes over 18 so i doubt hes going to ask his parents.
saintsrocksocks 10
23- Well there is an dirty, evil, spawn from hell I'm sometime taken to whenever I'm physically disabled in any way to diagnose and treat problems, such as splinters. It is called... The Doctor. Dun dun dun!
Welshite 40
#29: Don't let DocBastard see your comment...
saintsrocksocks 10
Why would I care if DocB
saintsrocksocks 10
Was I thumbed down because nobody got the joke? The next comment explained it pretty well.
Welshite 40
*shakes head mournfully* Poor Socks...I warned him too late it seems. Should we attempt a rescue mission? Edit: Socks you're alive!
saintsrocksocks 10
69- All Doc did was show me pictures of his recent patient who had a dangerous case of Fournier's Gangrene. Don't know what it is? Google image it.
klx125cross 9
smart kid.....
missamazinggg 12
I'm 18 and I still go to my momma when I'm hurt.
JudgeTroll 6
Smart *ass
jetsown08 21
Jesus, I have yet to see a single one of saintsrocksocks' comments be thumbed up. Perhaps 13 year olds should keep to their video games and whatnot.
brewmasterg 34
I don't know if he's legitimately just twelve and retarded at posting or the worst, worst troll ever. Stop trying kid, or come back in six years when.. You know, you don't rely on mummy and daddy anymore for ******* splinters jesus.
BatemanFML 0
Hmmmm.... When I was thirteen, my father would tell me to "rub some dirt on it and quit being a pussy." Just sayin'....
pokefan813 16
97 - first of all, he's thirteen. Second of all what are you doing, not being attached to a butt. I mean you are an asshole after all.
UltimateGIRness 16
Ouch.that sucks op,but don't be too embarrassed,it ain't all your fault
saintsrocksocks 10
Go.Back.To.School.Derp.Derp.Derpity.Derp.Derp.
MrElephant 5
Who else is to blame in this situation?
thgiL 9
42 - tree's and their ****** splinter giving ways.
skoob1 12
No, it was that tree from hog warts. It attacked you and you slew it, but it left a battle scar in the form of a splinter. Wear it proudly!
NicollieOlliO 0
Make something up!
ohSNAPyall 27
Or wear a bandaid.
Daffodilly 14
You should be embarrassed. It was just a splinter, no need to maim yourself. Those things usually come out on their own in a few days anyway.
buca100 4
You can actually get an infection that can lead to much worse situations if you leave the wood in your hand. A lot of the time, it doesn't come out on its own. It's very dangerous to just leave it.
melij99 5
Put a band aid on it.
P1P_BOY 6
someone must have been very determined to rip out that splinter, even if it caused a flesh wound in the process. either way its a lose-lose situation. fyl