Customers and Work: SIR!

SIR!

By twatstick - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Worksop

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 126

You deserved it 3 432

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 293

You deserved it 2 441

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 779

By whitecollar - 05/12/2012 02:43 - United Kingdom - Scarborough

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 043

You deserved it 33 427

By Herman - 25/02/2010 00:57 - France

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 905

You deserved it 5 804

By staticman101 - 04/10/2012 03:14 - United States - Allendale

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 467

You deserved it 34 068

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 024

You deserved it 49 776

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 10:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 2 480

By Snails - 12/06/2019 20:00

Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 732

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:02

I hope you work at a grocery store. Otherwise this FML goes from kinky to truly bizarre.

ballettillidie 8

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:01

Please use the lotion instead.

Comments

bhou56 7

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:20

Well I hope he bought them because I'm pretty sure no one wants to eat peas that were rubbed on some guy

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:31

Is there some vitamin in peas good for your skin? Either way he should do that in his own time...

angelitared 27

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:34

This is awesome. Totally turned my day around reading it!! Go freaky pea guy!!

thedeadmen 14

Thursday 22 August 2013 8:53

U like the pea guy rubbing?

Hutch1965 6

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:51

Nothing wrong with a little vegetarian frotterism, is there?

simoncat 11

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:00

Wait. Fresh or frozen?

Ikeaknomehunter 9

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:10

Sorry about that OP but it felt good

catkat1988 17

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:35

That must've been awfully awkward, but thank you for the good laugh!

olpally 32

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:44

Who else but Quagmire? Lol.

martin8337 35

Thursday 22 August 2013 2:26

Giggity.

bo501 4

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:58

WTF?

graceinsheepwear 33

Thursday 22 August 2013 1:12

Give peas a chance. That's all we are saying.

Keywords

Weird Underwear Miscellaneous Clothes Cute Halloween Animals Dogs Fire Awkward First Dates Smells Love Work Scary Phobias Shopping Kids Embarrassing Mental health Therapy Health Friends Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

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I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 86

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I agree, your life sucks 18 345

You deserved it 61 852

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I agree, your life sucks 3 585

You deserved it 253

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 170

You deserved it 6 211

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 016

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I went to meet my dad, who I haven't seen in years, at a convenience store. He didn't show up, because the location was "inconvenient." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 152

Today, at the age of 24, the only way I can remember anything at all is if I repeat it over and over again like a mantra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 99

Today, after blacking out from fever, I found out that the reason I've been feeling so sick is that I've somehow come down with pneumonia, strep, and the common cold all at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 151

You deserved it 271

SIR!

Same thing different taste

Pissed

Bad day #74746

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