Sleep, Dreams and Health: Satisfaction

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 062

You deserved it 1 730

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 250

You deserved it 4 192

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 351

You deserved it 42 167

By ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 752

You deserved it 3 021

Limited edition prank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 685

You deserved it 4 305

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 423

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 3 860

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 908

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 2 290

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 378

You deserved it 15 346

Out of my mind

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 5 115

FrozenMusic 26

Tuesday 13 September 2016 12:54

That's snot a bad dream. *waits for down votes*

YoloWhiteRSA 20

Tuesday 13 September 2016 13:00

I nose exactly how you feel.

Comments

DannyDizzle 8

Tuesday 13 September 2016 15:02

Be careful picking your nose in public you might bust a nut in your pants!

lambda_fml 40

Wednesday 14 September 2016 20:28

Wat

ToxicTyrael 26

Tuesday 13 September 2016 15:13

Super satisfying! What do you want more XD

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 13 September 2016 17:05

That's one strange pick for a dream...

Cow_Girl_Lilly 24

Tuesday 13 September 2016 17:10

It broke my heart when I realize you're from the same state as me.

Namenlos_fml 20

Tuesday 13 September 2016 23:24

There is something oddly satisfying about that. It's like removing a big wad of earwax or popping a pimple. It's gross, sometimes painful, but oddly satisfying to have such a gross, irritating thing out of your body.

mattyiscool123 26

Wednesday 14 September 2016 4:24

Your dreams must be really fun

Delta_0DST 12

Friday 16 September 2016 10:40

Great Cesar's ballsack, that must've been a really big one. I'm willing to bet the reason you woke up was because part if your brain came out too. Right?