By ariana - 8/3/2021 21:30

Relatable

Today, after a full year of absolutely zero social interaction, I realized that I don’t miss it. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

683

176

Covid

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

The magic of love

Devious, the lot of them

By spermbankonlegs - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36538

You deserved it

4851

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By Tourist - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84476

You deserved it

598543

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By Anonymous

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23744

You deserved it

12020

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By Anonycock - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20750

You deserved it

3877

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By J Money - United States

Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2899

You deserved it

318

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By Lady Vulva

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34704

You deserved it

3029

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By nevermind

Today, while planning for our trip next spring, my friend told me that she's decided that her mom is coming with us. It’s non-negotiable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1593

You deserved it

149

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By marriedwithfamily - United States

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

86515

You deserved it

3460

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By LtlCheeseburger - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11455

You deserved it

29297

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By Anonymous - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35630

You deserved it

5300

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31499

You deserved it

8464

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By stinkystinky

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13387

You deserved it

878

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By csor027 - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34449

You deserved it

4607

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By awkward.. - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35223

You deserved it

5075

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By didntevenknow - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14490

You deserved it

37883

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By ewmomew - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27561

You deserved it

9309

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By wheel 4

Today, I went out with my best friend, his girlfriend, and a girl they've been wanting to introduce to me. I thought they wanted to set us up, but it turns out they're a throuple and wanted me to be the first to know. I think I'm the first fourth wheel in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5206

You deserved it

359

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By Em - United States

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

I agree, your life sucks

60430

You deserved it

20797

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By isabellam0426

Today, while teaching my history class, a girl asked me where North America was. She lives in North America. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9540

You deserved it

678

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By texasbest - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23653

You deserved it

2002

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By xXshitface4uXx - New Zealand - Rotorua

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47744

You deserved it

9077

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34857

You deserved it

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By beccav23 - United States

He's got the moves

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36233

You deserved it

7454

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By cantunhear - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33133

You deserved it

2446

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By Anonymous - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3167

You deserved it

217

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By babbling idiot - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24391

You deserved it

9590

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By hcflorence1 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38630

You deserved it

5237

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By Anonymous

Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1710

You deserved it

8872

Favorite

By iross - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38600

You deserved it

3288

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By Luna - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33589

You deserved it

3512

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By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:01

Ring of fire

Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1168

You deserved it

146

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By Anonymous - 24/5/2020 17:00

Let it all out

Today, I had too much to eat at dinner. I had to cut sexy time with my husband short because I couldn't do it. I feel bad because it's his birthday today but we stopped. I then proceeded to throw up everything I ate today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1368

You deserved it

589

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By perfectman - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25192

You deserved it

8328

Favorite

By Christen - United States

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

18339

You deserved it

36578

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By Miriden - United States

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30439

You deserved it

7468

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By Anonyme - France - Lyon

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side containing the spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19662

You deserved it

6723

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35079

You deserved it

6433

Favorite

By bruised - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14215

You deserved it

1216

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47608

You deserved it

21413

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By BrokeAF

Today, I eagerly applied for a high-salary, fully supportive graduate program that I qualified for. There were 5 steps in the application process. I was turned down after the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7709

You deserved it

861

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Top comments

By SJKatt | 10

#7977030 - Monday 8 March 2021 22:04

This is not an FYL. This is good! Being comfortable enough to be alone with yourself and your thoughts is important.

By catalysty | 20

#7977079 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 1:55

me neither

COMMENTS

By SJKatt | 10

#7977030 - Monday 8 March 2021 22:04

This is not an FYL. This is good! Being comfortable enough to be alone with yourself and your thoughts is important.

By red6joker | 7

#7977038 - Monday 8 March 2021 22:40

perfectly fine. nothing to worry about.

By bound101 | 7

#7977044 - Monday 8 March 2021 23:20

It's the norm anymore....however, I have always been a lone wolf, and yet I still miss some family & some interactions very, very much.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7977075 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 1:28

If I comment on this, will I be breaking your win streak?

By catalysty | 20

#7977079 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 1:55

me neither

By peterblack67 | 9

#7977083 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 2:19

I agree 100 %

By Nhayaa2.0 | 10

#7977133 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 6:25

If you don't miss it then it's not an FML. Good for you!

By juggalo2 | 15

#7977158 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 9:54

A lot of people are realizing what values are important to them during this major life change.

giraffe_poop | 8

#7977168 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 10:51

amen

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7977616 - Thursday 11 March 2021 9:18

Good. Other people can go fuck themselves.