Awkward, ACAB and Cops: Paul Fart Malt Clop

Why would you want a "free hugs" sign? Seriously. If you want a hug from someone, literally just go up to them and hug them. Period. No hug signs needed.

Clarence Gilbert 7

Wednesday 29 August 2018 16:52

looks like alot of hug haters here too.

Keywords

Weird Underwear Clothes Miscellaneous Cute Halloween Dogs Animals Fire Awkward First Dates Smells Love Work Scary Phobias Shopping Kids Embarrassing Mental health Therapy Friends Health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

The Top

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 967

Today, I realized my mom is a big hypocrite for telling me sex is wrong and sinful outside marriage, because I just worked out from their marriage certificate my mom must have been pregnant with me in college, and I was born after they’d only been married for four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 185

The Top

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 289

Today, while stressing about our third date, which I had planned to be third date sex night, I binge-ate a bag of peanuts. When he picked me up, the first thing I did was kiss him. He asked me why he could taste peanuts. He never told me he’s allergic. Sex night turned into hospital night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 186

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 961

You deserved it 2 623

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he becomes insatiably horny whenever he hears "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley. It turns out that was the song on the radio when he was losing his virginity, when he was 16, with his sister. He insists it’s not weird because their parents are half-siblings. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 275

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 315

You deserved it 3 895

Today, my husband's mistress purposely and dangerously induced her own labor so that she would have the baby on my birthday. Yes, I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 563

You deserved it 322