By Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States - Fort Worth Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 44553 You deserved it 5141 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By belle_arina - United States Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML I agree, your life sucks 37346 You deserved it 8485 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I'm my husband's second mom - United States - Dickson Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML I agree, your life sucks 22740 You deserved it 4469 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By samaris Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML I agree, your life sucks 12219 You deserved it 1158 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loko0909 - United States - Cincinnati Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML I agree, your life sucks 25698 You deserved it 2490 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emeraldarcher74 - United States - Lake Stevens Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 9178 You deserved it 1315 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML I agree, your life sucks 23451 You deserved it 18998 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML I agree, your life sucks 43587 You deserved it 3956 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Takegami Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML I agree, your life sucks 2445 You deserved it 168 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IceQueen - United States - Clinton Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML I agree, your life sucks 41749 You deserved it 6050 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AbsolutelyEffed - United States Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML I agree, your life sucks 47023 You deserved it 30441 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML I agree, your life sucks 30346 You deserved it 8321 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unloved - United States Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML I agree, your life sucks 35625 You deserved it 2726 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML I agree, your life sucks 74324 You deserved it 4911 234 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML I agree, your life sucks 88861 You deserved it 8284 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleepylillion - United States - Eleele Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML I agree, your life sucks 14145 You deserved it 1504 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jay-frey96 - United States - San Diego Directions Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML I agree, your life sucks 45491 You deserved it 13893 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LikeAndreTheGiant - United States Today, I noticed my doctor has freakishly huge hands. This normally wouldn't have bothered me were I not there for a prostate exam. FML I agree, your life sucks 6781 You deserved it 517 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML I agree, your life sucks 40230 You deserved it 3455 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ddhaley1 - United States - Edmond Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML I agree, your life sucks 24447 You deserved it 3160 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NaCl - United States - Duluth Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML I agree, your life sucks 49562 You deserved it 4041 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oh dang /: Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML I agree, your life sucks 41379 You deserved it 7527 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whateven333 - United States - Gibsonia Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32785 You deserved it 2662 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BARF - United States Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML I agree, your life sucks 27469 You deserved it 130098 236 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wow - United States Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML I agree, your life sucks 35111 You deserved it 4492 350 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Montr?al Today, I crawled under a table to plug a new lamp. When I tried to get up, I hit my head on the corner of the same table, getting me my fourth concussion in three years for trying to plug a f***ing lamp. FML I agree, your life sucks 11102 You deserved it 4617 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thedeadone Today, I found the phone number of my biological mother after years of searching for her, and gave her a call. I introduced myself by name and said, "I'm your daughter." There was a pause at the other end, followed by, "The one I aborted or the one I gave away?" FML I agree, your life sucks 2281 You deserved it 188 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Winxy - United States - San Francisco Today, my three-year-old nephew chose to jump out of a window and break his arm rather than be babysat by me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29488 You deserved it 4352 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Clutz - United States Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML I agree, your life sucks 11388 You deserved it 35787 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Poland - Warsaw Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML I agree, your life sucks 32552 You deserved it 5809 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By starboy - United States Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML I agree, your life sucks 28139 You deserved it 20105 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scarred for life - United States - Eagle River Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't bad if you think about it." FML I agree, your life sucks 11683 You deserved it 1317 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By voicelesspeasant Today, weeks after I paid extra for faster shipping, I received confirmation that my paperwork for overseas voting has been received. Too bad the deadline in my state was yesterday. Thanks, Postal Service, for the consistency of your failures. FML I agree, your life sucks 9700 You deserved it 813 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nosonofmine - Iceland - Reykjav Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML I agree, your life sucks 27429 You deserved it 2829 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By he’s just terrible at it! Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML I agree, your life sucks 3847 You deserved it 395 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML I agree, your life sucks 25203 You deserved it 55922 327 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By forest killer girl Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML I agree, your life sucks 3154 You deserved it 565 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML I agree, your life sucks 24271 You deserved it 65232 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/11/2020 22:56 - United States - Ashburn Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML I agree, your life sucks 779 You deserved it 414 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smashleighfig - France Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML I agree, your life sucks 39970 You deserved it 3594 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mellowyellow15 | 8 #7707546 - Friday 12 October 2018 4:42 I can relate to that. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Mellowyellow15 | 8 #7707546 - Friday 12 October 2018 4:42 I can relate to that. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without... I agree, your life sucks 20 You deserved it 3 0 Comments
Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML I agree, your life sucks 518 You deserved it 73 4 Comments