Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, I asked my husband to watch our kids while I cooked food for him. Apparently I asked in the wrong tone, because now he's pouting and won't eat. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
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Top comments
ThaKranium 10
Who cares? It's pizza.
imlifeless2 25
it would be funny if you were making pizza.
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Comments (106)
worldclassrager 41
Next time follow the recipe closer...you'll get it
ZeroProxy 4
I want pizza now...
hazardmuffin 21
At least you put in the effort, OP. I hope your wife at least appreciates that you listened to her! Maybe you and her could make dinner together some time so you can learn, and as a bonus, you get to spend time together :)
ApparentlyNotEno 28
OP is a wonderful man for taking the initiative and, even if it wasn't a great outcome, at least trying to help his wife and provide more than money for his family. And his wife sounds like a relatively tactful, supportive, and appreciative spouse. All-in-all, I'd say that rather than FYL, OP, you've got it fairly good.
sassy2085 16
Good news you will never have to cook again
EndOfSekrets 13
Now I want pizza.
Axel5238 29
Unfortunately, some people are bad at cooking they don't think of how flavors interact. My mom figured well if you like it normally it'll go great with a bunch of there stuff you like. Never thinking about what that would taste like. Though, I've had friends who would eat the worst junk food( hot pockets, lot junk stuff) and were so specific when ordering at a restaurant it was incredible.
blackychan63 12
it's the struggle.
Hozu 3
As much as it sucks to know your family doesn't like your cooking, you won't have to prepare it again later. Short term pain, long term gain.
olpally 33
I LOVE PIZZA! Give me some dammit!! :D
justtheotherguy 12
Cooking is an art which cannot be acquired overnight, first step is an initiative.. Practice will make you better with time. Try AVOIDING burgers, pizza, sandwiches and all the fried stuff as much possible..it will only increase your BMI and chances of CAD, HTN & DM.