Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, I asked my husband to watch our kids while I cooked food for him. Apparently I asked in the wrong tone, because now he's pouting and won't eat. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
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Top comments
ThaKranium 10
Who cares? It's pizza.
imlifeless2 25
it would be funny if you were making pizza.
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Comments (106)
CrikOgresmasher 19
at least she tried to not say anything XD
Radtastic 9
You could have cooked the most awesome meal of your life, but since they always eat pizza they won't appreciate it.
vlalam 24
Hey, atleast u tried and she's not gonna complain from now on :)
sietseld 13
It can take some time to learn to cook just right...practice, look for tips online, or sign up for a few classes! or watch food cooking shows. Don't give up!
ThunderTheRad 14
Points for effort. Pizza always works, too.
MyS3lf 24
Does she cook? Because the way this is worded makes it sound like she doesn't, and if that's the case, maybe she should give it a try, instead of ordering pizza. I do have to say though, you missed an opportunity to be a smartass, you should have asked her if you should order chinese instead.
Merylwen 24
No, the way it's worded means that she always cooks, and when she can't (because of work or whatever else), they order pizza.
way2go 16
This reminds me of Grown Ups. Haha but I imagine it happens often in real life. You'll get better if you keep trying. (Hopefully)
middlenamefrank 8
Doesn't sound like you meant to, but nicely done! Now you never have to cook again!
mrlaidback992 5
Fyl and YDI. Your ole lady shouldn't complain about your cooking if you actually made an effort to try, but if you didn't try dude that's not right either just so you don't have to cook! I love to cook and clean just don't have the time with work!
Tia00016 11
Buy a make your own pizza kit. It comes with crust and sauce that way you can make dinner and have pizza .