Today, while I was gambling at a casino, my daughter called me. Then added her mother. And then added her dance teacher, my side piece. The call got so loud the Pit Boss had to escort me out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I got off a boring day at work and went to the casino because my wife wanted me to go and it sounded fun. I have been sitting here doing nothing but talk about people's lives in the non-smoking section. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
Today, I found out my mother-in-law sold a precious family heirloom and gambled away the money. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
It’s amazing how much easier life is when you can keep it in your pants. That’s free life advice to you because goodness knows you need it.
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet $100 your daughter was not setting up a three-way for you. I'd also like to stake your wife's divorce attorney. That seems to be a sure jackpot!
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Comments (10)
cuz803 46
Someone has been unfaithful, huh? How long has the affair been going on? Did you have a place to sleep at night?
Jon Tessler 14
if you were in the middle of gambling, why did you take the call?
JackWood 21
You are quite the Gambler! ;)
RichardPencil 32
Kenny Rogers would facepalm.
Anderling 33
It’s amazing how much easier life is when you can keep it in your pants. That’s free life advice to you because goodness knows you need it.
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet $100 your daughter was not setting up a three-way for you. I'd also like to stake your wife's divorce attorney. That seems to be a sure jackpot!
Hangryko 32
You gambled and lost, POS. I hope your wife takes everything from you in the divorce, your daughter goes NC from you, and the dance teacher sues you. YDI
poopface82 25
YDI. You should know casinos don’t let you use your phone while you’re at a table.
TomeDr 25
“Side piece”? I hope your daughter never dates a misogynistic a-hole like yourself.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
So you're a terrible father, a terrible partner, and a terrible gambler. Sounds like you're a pretty terrible person overall.
JasonThorn 23
Yeah, it sounds like he's trying to win at Breakup Bingo. Ticking off as many boxes as possible.
dasin 18
did i miss something? why people assuming cheater? says her mother not his wife. more curious as to why all these people are being added to the call