Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
Father of the year award goes to...
Welshite 40
I guess his part was the donkey.
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Comments (46)
Kershaw45 9
No respect.
Kamon97 23
Hope you cut off his drinking cold turkey after this
isuckwithnames 22
Why maybe it was the first time he has gone drinking in months and he went overboard
RedPillSucks 33
If he can't control himself then he shouldn't drink
nyahz1 7
Don't worry, everybody has effed up moments in life only losers judge! Shake it off, talk about it in a few days, try to find the humor in the situation and laugh about it
khaoticpanda 28
Well maybe it WAS time.
Mommy_of_one 2
Make him go to AA or take his booze away
whiskeey 14
No one ever said he was a alcoholic.
Mommy_of_one 2
If he can't handle his booze, he shouldn't be drinking it. I drink and I never got drunk enough to do anything remotely like that
whiskeey 14
So he had a little too much to drink and made a few mistakes and now he should be banned from drinking forever? I don't think so
isuckwithnames 22
That still doesn't prove that he needs AA. Also, just because you never had this happen to you doesn't mean people who have are alcoholics.
whiskeey 14
Exactly.
Axel5238 29
True, but since he showed up late is it possible he drove to the play. Also drinking presumably early( I doubt the play would've started that late) showing up to the event drunk,publicly embarrassing himself and getting kicked out is a real good sign AA should be looked into. This is way different from doing something childishly stupid while drunk in college or with his friends. Even if the husband rarely drinks there are a lot of red flags all in one incident that would make it a good thing to look into.
whiskeey 14
The FML never says nor implies driving his car drunk, let's not jump to conclusions. By reading one FML about someone does not warrant us to decide if he needs help from AA or not.
Axel5238 29
He showed up to it late, it doesn't say whether or not he did or didn't drive. Though showed up he got a ride somehow or drove. Also, being drunk enough to be thrown out from a christmas play more than likely being shown early in the probably a good sign the guy should not be drinking at all. Drinking potentially pretty early, public embarrassment and be forced to leave are all pretty good signs he shouldn't drink.
DocBastard 40
That's several people now who have said "Take his booze away". What a nice but worthless idea. He's a grown man, and people who drink find ways to get it. OP, this is the time to have a very open and frank discussion about his drinking. If this continues, the next call you get may be from the coroner.
ptoka 20
Hey now OP, just because Jesus was technically a bastard doesn't mean you can throw that term around like this.
Edumcg 24
Maybe you have to explain him how alcohol works too. Guess no Christmas present right?
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Ahh the Christmas spirit! (:
isuckwithnames 22
That was a great pun.
FYsocks 11
Your husband sounds embarrassing but totally awesome. That's gonna be a great memory one day.
alycion 39
I really don't see how him ruining his young child's event is going to turn into a great memory. Yeah, we all do stupid stuff we laugh at later on down the road, but usually that stuff doesn't involve us hurting someone we love. Kids can be cruel, and this could be something the child is going to get picked on over. Not to mention that other parents may see the father as irresponsible and not want their child around him which means less play dates and playmates for the little one.