Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
Father of the year award goes to...
Welshite 40
I guess his part was the donkey.
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Comments (46)
RedAlert0 7
Randy, is that you?
n00b4liciou5 10
Oh, Catholics....
ceenguyenx 6
Damn that sucks !!
drstuff 9
This will be hilarious when your son grows up
8born8 18
Disrespectful, rude, heartbreaking and shameful. Your husbands selfishness, excessive consumption of alcohol and abhorrent behaviour evidently obliterated what would've been an immensely joyous night. A family meeting addressing the repulsive behaviour displayed by your husband and subsequent fallout of his actions needs to be had. Make sure your son tells his father exactly how he felt before, during and after witnessing his outburst. Sadly, every recording device probably filmed it all and it'll be watched, gossiped over and preserved digitally forever. I pray it doesn't get uploaded to the net for your family to endure further suffering, embarrassment & ridicule.
imani132 6
This is going in my favorites lol
NodakN8V 25
About the only way to handle one of those kinds of plays...he gets my hat tip.
RamiUSMC 9
he was the "ass" in the play
jburd45 1
Lol baller
moneyoverall 3
he's awesome