Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
Father of the year award goes to...
Welshite 40
I guess his part was the donkey.
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Comments (46)
TooFuckinFunny 3
Am I the only one that pictured this and found it funny?
BoltTheSuperdog 22
It made me laugh, so it's in my favorites list!
isuckwithnames 22
Why does everyone think he needs AA. There is no evidence to prove that he gets drunk a lot. You guys need to be less pessimistic.
buckdharma 38
Let me guess. He tried to go back to the Inn, but all the stools were taken.
rdnkchevy 9
I see A.A. In his near future
saocrates 16
I want my baby Jesus to wear a tuxedo shirt, so his formal but ready to party! - Cal Nawton Jr.
Sputnikspak 13
Was your son playing First Lobster?
LissaMccracken 23
I just laughed so hard at this...
pita1331 7
Everyone is saying AA or take his alcohol away but nowhere in this FML did OP say her husband has a drinking problem
Dodge4x4Ram 46
He stole the show
worldclassrager 41
Is there another performance you can go to?