It's a dangerous day for our little friend... - FML

It's a dangerous day for our little friend...

By FML Approved - 19/07/2017 18:54

It's National Hotdog Day!

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November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Talented73 54

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:54

I've got a little friend.... in my pants.... huh-huh.... huh-huh-huh....

Talented73 54

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:55

I've got a hot dog.... in my pants.... huh-huh....huh-huh-huh....

Talented73 54

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:56

Was that an Anthony Weiner?

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Awkward Miscellaneous Family Teachers Education YouTube Language Cars Animals Cats Health Relatable Clumsy Ironic Love Anniversary Cute Shopping Social Media Embarrassing Instagram Injury Sports Crush Work Clothes Food Birds Mental health Public freakouts

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Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML

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Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 111

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Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 308

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Today, I participated in the "Color Run," an event where you walk across town while people douse you with colored powder. They have yet to implement a rule saying you can't hit people in the face. My ears are pink and blue, my hair's orange, my lips and beard are purple, and I can see better WITHOUT my glasses. FML

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Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

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Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

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Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions. She then got mad at me when I went soft due to the pain. FML

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Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

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