It's a dangerous day for our little friend... - FML

It's a dangerous day for our little friend...

By FML Approved - 19/07/2017 18:54

It's National Hotdog Day!

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Talented73 54

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:54

I've got a little friend.... in my pants.... huh-huh.... huh-huh-huh....

Talented73 54

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:55

I've got a hot dog.... in my pants.... huh-huh....huh-huh-huh....

Talented73 54

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:56

Was that an Anthony Weiner?

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Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 63

Today, I looked for an affordable home. I'm on SSI but only on a bare minimum (less than $950 a month), but I'm by myself so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. All the homes in my area are over $1k. When I tried to look for one with less beds and baths, they demanded I make an account before I could search further. FML

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You deserved it 107

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Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

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Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 256

You deserved it 10 167

Today, I got dumped, but not before he swindled me out of my savings. This done by my sweetheart from 16 years ago, whom I reunited with when he called me 7 months ago. I had no reason not to trust him, his brother has been one of my BFFs for 20 years. Now I'm not only broke, but heartbroken, and have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 210

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 887

You deserved it 10 932

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

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You deserved it 34 669

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 683

You deserved it 1 990