Today, I was arrested for kidnapping a child. MY child. Do you know how hard it is as a white man to convince a police officer that a latino toddler screaming, "Stranger danger!" is yours? FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, a lady tried to call the cops on me and "child services" because she thought I'd kidnapped my white son. I'm African-American and I'd adopted him. I even showed her the adoption decree, but according to her, "You can't fool me, it's AI-generated! I know how you people work!" FML
Today, I was beaten up by a random dude for trying to pick my own son up from school. I'm pasty white, my wife is black, and our son was visibly born black, so I was beaten up for attempted kidnapping, and it’s not the first time it’s happened. FML
Today, I took my step-kids and left my abusive husband. I've just been informed that I'm being accused of kidnapping. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, some idiot with a #saveourchildren shirt followed me around a store. When I finally asked the fucker what their problem was, they started screaming, asking why I was holding hands with black children that obviously didn’t belong to me. I’m white. Their mom is black. They’re my kids. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML
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Top comments
Mongo999 9
I traveled with my toddler daughter without the wife all the time. We were in a timeshare, and she slipped in the hot tub, hitting her chin. She didn't want to tell me, so went to her room without saying anything. Two hours later, I went in to find a towel covered with blood. Took her to the local emergency room for a couple of stitches. They continuously asked her how it happened, if I had hit her, why I had hit her, had I hit her before? Then, where was her mother? Then they called the police. The police went through the questioning process again. After they finally called my wife, four hours later, they finally let us go. Was pretty sure I was going to end up in jail!
blueshine 8
Thank you! This has made my day, my daughter looks identical to me and I still got questioned when she did that! I’m glad it’s not just my child who’s and ass sometimes!
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Comments (27)
blueshine 8
Thank you! This has made my day, my daughter looks identical to me and I still got questioned when she did that! I’m glad it’s not just my child who’s and ass sometimes!
Glowworm56 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I wonder who taught your child the "stranger danger!" bit? Bet it was his or her mother.
Arashikage 18
You're saying that like it's a bad thing about teaching the child about stranger danger
ofotherworlds 8
It’s considered a bad idea nowadays because children are much more likely to be abused by a relative or someone else they trust.
TeachAllTheMath 19
This is adorably frustrating, kids are amazing.
Mongo999 9
I traveled with my toddler daughter without the wife all the time. We were in a timeshare, and she slipped in the hot tub, hitting her chin. She didn't want to tell me, so went to her room without saying anything. Two hours later, I went in to find a towel covered with blood. Took her to the local emergency room for a couple of stitches. They continuously asked her how it happened, if I had hit her, why I had hit her, had I hit her before? Then, where was her mother? Then they called the police. The police went through the questioning process again. After they finally called my wife, four hours later, they finally let us go. Was pretty sure I was going to end up in jail!
PhoenixChick 26
Wow. So to those dimwits either children never get hurt, or children cannot possibly be safe without mom around and having just dad was police-worthy levels of suspicious.
bigdaddyeric 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You let your Toddler Daughter in a Hot Tub - 1st Violation, then she injures herself and is bleeding and you do not notice - 2nd Violation, then you leave her alone in the room, a toddler, for 2 hours without checking on her - 3rd Violation. Now suddenly you discover bloody towels and go to the ER for stitches and blame them and the cops for harassing you??? You should have been locked up for the night and charged with child endangerment and abandonment. I hope your wife only lets you have Supervised Visitations now.
PhantomCrevan 8
I don't think you know how toddlers work. They are surprisingly sneaky even when it comes to hiding injuries, and the combination of them developing empathy and possible past out bursts over injuries leads to them trying to hide injuries they really shouldn't, because they don't want to hurt mom or dad by showing them it.
acmariner99 25
Toddlers are tricky little buggers. Mine was more afraid of a bandaid than the bleeding cut on her arm. They can get scratches and cuts, cry for a couple of minutes, walk it off, and not understand that they need further medical attention. What baffles me about your story is that doctors don’t seem to understand that kids get injured by their own doing. We are expected to keep our kids in a bubble ... it’s no wonder kids have no coping skills these days.
BanjoCheeseGuy 26
Directed to eric: First of all, he was next to his child, or had the kid in his lap/holding in case something bad happened. Second, he left the kid in a part of the hotel. He was probably also in the same hotel room, in a different part. Hotels aren’t usually very big, so he probably assumed if the kid needed it wanted something they would go to him and not much could happen, and if they got hurt would cry or something, pretty natural assumption Also, toddlers don’t like trouble and probably thought they would be in trouble for getting hurt, as they likely don’t know the ins and outs of what’s right and wrong, so the kid was probably hiding it. It’s possible the wound didn’t start bleeding until they got into the hotel. Upon discovery, he took the kid to the er immediately. Sounds to me like he’s just a regular dad, not neglecting hid child.
A Frenchy in Eire 31
In two hours, you didn't bother checking on your toddler?
exileonmainst 16
Seems you have a harder time convicing your kid than anyone else..
exileonmainst 16
*convincing Why can’t we edit our ******* comments?
ffc Squall 14
Because we can't have nice things.
chubbear 14
We used to be able to! They need to bring it back...
ChuckChuckyLukeMrCowboy 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Probably forgot her green card ??
bigdaddyeric 37
I would think it would be a lot easier than a Mexican Adult Male holding on to a White Child yelling “Stranger Danger, Stranger Danger!!!!”
Burle 17
How dare you assume my race!
pheonixfire13 17
Wat
Stephanie Rose King 3
sorry bro. this sucks.
Mightytall 35
I bet your kid learned a valuable lesson too. (Hopefully at least) he/she now understands how far a tantrum can be taken until serious harm is done.