Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
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Top comments
coolster5000 22
Wow.
Welshite 40
Sorry to hear, OP. Cheaters are the worst.
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Comments (190)
Palirose 22
Im sorry, OP. DITCH that ***** and find someone who is worthy of your love.
rockhead1270 5
Ruh Roh. Drain the bank first.
magickitten 26
If i were you, get a 'sister' and see how your wife likes that. Seriously though, why lie when you've clearly been caught out?What a bitch, you deserve better OP.
kto123 16
OP doesn't need to cheat too, otherwise he'll be no better than his wife.
cryssycakesx3 23
caught out or called out?
magickitten 26
#71 - your point is?
robotiick7 23
17- why should OP stoop to their wives slutty level and cheat? OP is the bigger person and should just confront her about it.
magickitten 26
Hence my 'seriously' part. My original comment wasn't advice it was an attempt at a light hearted 'get even' joke. Please read all of the comment rather than pick at one part of it and look like a massive fail.
thebash14 7
You guys don't do that?
IloveToLaugh143 21
I thought it was normal.
borntoperform 14
You'd think you'd know who your wife's brother is...
DeeDeeJay 15
Either way she's still cheating on you
MixedGurl97 10
You would have know if that was her brother or not. That was a terrible lie. FYL
tealrobot 15
if shes cheating, leave her ass. a relationship is built on faith and trust
InfiniteSecret 20
IF! How is it an IF they are cheating. Most people think that making out with someone is cheating
InfiniteSecret 20
IF! How is it an IF they are cheating. Most people think that making out with someone is cheating
ChakatBlackstar 29
Is that not normal for family? I think I have to have a talk with my cousin.
nomagic 3
Eh you should get video of it and show to judge in court so she gets nothing