Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Today, my coworker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
jillytc 23
just teach him all the wrong words, so instead of "where is this place" he says "I am a ********"
rocker_chick105 31
Because this is so much worse than the racial slurs of the 1950s
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Comments (125)
MSCCG 16
Do you speak Asian? Why should you take offence at the ignorance of others? I say yes when others ask if I speak "Asian", that's perfectly fine for me as 1) I know multiple Asian languages and 2) my purpose in life is to educate, not to indulge in taking offence at other people's actions. I would be glad that he is curious, and correct him. Then you've turned a potential asshole to someone tolerable and interested in your culture.
thenewgirl29 20
That's what I was thinking
djPanda 8
I feel like he's not going to have a fun time over there
blue4d 5
Sounds like you should help him. People are a product of their environment, and you have the opportunity to have a positive effect. Or you could take the advice of others commenters and loathe your own existence.
Bebbo_fml 21
Op this is a perfect opportunity for you to make quick cash while screwing your ignorant classmate. Teach him embarrassing phrases while charging a high sum. It's a win situation for you and life learning opportunity for him.
nitrog100 21
Some people's ignorance surprises me. I'm 3/8 Thai, and speak about enough to properly pronounce foods/say hello, thank you, and count to 100.
siniclehamster 16
Im trying to learn japanese myself and thats definitely NOT the way I would ask someone for help. Dont help him!
myeviltwin 20
Like someone above stated. Teach him everything wrong. Teach him "I hate you and your people and want to rape your infant son", tell him it means "hello, nice to meet you." everything will then sort itself out. Stupidity like that should come with consequences.
EmmaMK 35
If the friend was just messing around. The do it, it might be fun. Being negative against idiots wastes energy.
fyl7899 12
I fail to see how this is an fml.
liaRawr 9
You don't HAVE to do anything