Animals, Sex, Camping and Intimacy: Camping out - FML

Camping out

By Baggabbles123 - 08/06/2009 23:24 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 433

You deserved it 9 345

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Same thing different taste

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 762

You deserved it 6 899

Outdoorsy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Spicy

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 7 248

Not so cute

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 449

Lucky escape

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 450

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 302

You deserved it 9 095

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 5 373

Wildlife

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at a campsite, got everything set up, and went for a shower. However, when I got back, a drunken rhino of a woman had crawled into my tent, been sick, then passed out on my freshly-washed bedding. She was so fat I couldn’t even roll her. I had to sleep in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 84

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 346

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 108

Nice place

By Anonymous - 07/03/2021 15:01 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I experienced the perfect romantic moment as I was sitting on a hill on the beach overlooking the sunset, cuddling my girlfriend. It was abruptly ruined. How? A rat ran past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 212

Next

Top comments

Trebek 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:27

A raccoon interrupted you getting beaver, eh?

CryingHowls 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:26

GO RACCOON!

Comments

billybob171717 0

Monday 22 March 2010 5:55

just be thankfulnit didn't bite ur dick off and make u bleed to death. that actually happened. Germany, 1985

G_thelegend 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 8:51

at least ur not being cockblocked by her sister!!

serioushamster 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 3:14

this deserves the non abbreviated **** YOUR LIFE =D sorry dude

wrestlingman 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 1:10

natures ninja

shaniecerb 0

Monday 25 April 2011 7:23

uhh if op was a girl 90% of you guys would day "ydi gor being a ****"..just sayn

Gruv3r14 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 2:21

YDI for not using proper grammar.

amandachara 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 4:56

Not everybody waits for marriage. Doesn't make you a dumbass.

GingerLaxBro 3

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:11

Ahhh... Natures way of tellin you the girl was ugly

KristenWallen 0

Monday 12 March 2012 3:34

RACCOON FTW

albino88 2

Friday 23 November 2012 6:12

The Raccoon probably saved you from getting herpies!

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I agree, your life sucks 28 332

You deserved it 8 345

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I agree, your life sucks 36 568

You deserved it 3 491

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I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 148