Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Appleton, United States
Bon appétit
Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML
Top comments
Tupelo_Honey 30
You didn't notice your food tasted like bacon for 6 years?
landon_loe11 16
It's ok. My mom used to fry my stuff in vegetable oil to make me a vegetarian.
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Comments (76)
N3766 20
Technically pig converts vegetables to bacon. Fyl indeed.
Old unused 13
Wait, what? That made absolutely no sense.
capslockisgood 19
Its retarded but it does make sense; pig eats vegetation, so pig grows.
TheDrifter 24
Good point, bacon is essentially a processed plant product, and inherently healthier than the chemically altered, gene modified soy products that pass for vegan on store shelves.
Randomish6 16
Most vegetarians say that they do not want animals to be killed for their food. You can see bacon grease as a by-product, not something they aim to obtain specifically, thus no animals were killed to obtain it. Try not to take it too badly, you made your intention clear and have refrained from eating meat for 6 years, that's quite the thing! Your mum occasionally slipping in bacon fat does not annihilate your efforts!
bambam1313 1
Bacon grease is a byproduct of cooking bacon. A pig needs to be killed to make bacon and bacon grease. Byproducts are milk, butter, etc. No dying required.
luvin_purple 11
Exactly. Being vegetarian means not eating meat. By-products are okay. If you don't eat animal by-products, then you are vegan, not vegetarian.
doodlecloud 27
I get your point, it's not the reason for killing, but still, most vegetarians would not eat by-products like bacon grease.
VampTat 10
Or anything that comes from meat, like fat or grease. In this case, bacon grease. It's not vegetarian friendly by any means.
lil_ham1644 29
I always do research beforehand and asked what foods are fried in at restaurants to make sure it's not some kind of animal fat. I'm vegetarian, not vegan.
Mirorbo 27
Serious dick move on your mother's part. I will never understand why it's so hard to respect the vegetarian lifestyle.
Raesin 21
Because a large amount of them feel the need to shove it in other peoples faces. Like they feel they're superior to everyone else. Whenever I learn someone is a veggie/vegan, I assume they're a stuck-up prick until proven otherwise.
cristy91 33
I think a "large amount" grossly overstates the amount of vegetarians and vegans which use not eating animal eat as a method of feeling superior. Maybe you just live in an area with a lot of stuck up people who happen to be into the veggie, but that claim definitely doesn't apply everywhere.
Raesin 21
I said a 'large amount' not 'the majority'. I know there's some who don't. Those that look at me like I'm a freak if I eat a ham sandwich, all the while stating how it's barbaric and disgusting, do my head in. I'm so sorry that eating meat is part of a normal human diet, but if it upsets you and your 'alternate lifestyle', go and eat your tofu elsewhere while I enjoy delicious flesh. *Vegetarian orders veggie meal* 'You're a vegetarian?'' ''Yea'' ''Cool.'' - Is much better (as an example) than ''Ugh I don't know how you could eat that. Some poor animal died for that burger and now you're just going to eat it like that. It's so cruel, and we call ourselves civilized, did you know they do *this* and *this* to it before it died?'' etc. Not that I don't care about how animals are treated but seriously, keep it to yourself when I'm currently eating it.
DocBastard 40
Raesin, the only stuck up prick I see here is you. Assuming someone is an ass until they prove otherwise makes you the judgmental ass, not them.
doodlecloud 27
Sorry you're so butthurt Raesin. I know loads of vegetarians though and none of them are like that. Ever thought that maybe your 'assume they're a prick until proven otherwise' attitude is clouding your judgement and/or making usually pleasant vegetarians feel like they need to defend themselves?
Gnu_fml 9
How stuck up of YOU!
icryevrytime 7
I knew a guy that would go around declaring that he was vegan. Then the next day he'd be like, "Bro give me suma yur chicken"
SolanumX 6
Meh, I see Rae's point. It wouldn't even take a large number of vegetarians being unpleasant to give the demographic an unpleasant reputation. I think this is a classic bad apple ruins the bunch situation.
teh_doctor 4
28- The only reason you think that is because douche vegans are louder than normal vegans. Most of the time you wouldn't even know someone was a vegan unless someone else brings it up in conversation or you eat with them.
boredphil 4
Yes, this is the impression I get as well. Sadly the vocal minority ruin things for the decent folk. I personally don't care what you eat, as long as you don't contaminate my food in the process.
jelly713 19
Raesin, you're an example of jerks who poke fun at people for being different. I'm vegetarian & not for the stereotypical reasons you gave. For me, it started out for spiritual reasons influenced by health reasons where a vegetarian diet was just better for my body. Getting to the point, I think it's none of your damn business, as well as other rude people who bully vegetarians for ordering salads at restaurants. Everyone is allowed to eat whatever the hell they want unless it's toxic, nobody should be interfering. I don't understand people's hateful opinions like yours. Does it matter that people eat different food from you that much? You talk about vegans being pompous and doing it to be cool but it's as if you're bashing them to sound cool yourself.
bulliedkid 6
I'm a vegetarian for religious reasons. I'm Sikh. Reading Raesins comments was very hurtful.
StaceyMichelle 5
Raesin, for you to say that vegetarians are the ones shoving what they believe in people's faces is hurtful. I was a vegetarian for 8 years for ethnical reasons, and I would always get crap from other people about it, especially my dad. They would always tell me that I was unhealthy and I wasn't getting enough protein. My health has always been great. I just wish everyone would stop being so concerned about what other people are eating. It's their body, let them do what they want to it.
TheDrifter 24
121, did I miss something in sikh culture, or do you just not like the meats that your religion allows. Butter chicken is an every Friday thing at work, and a majority of the drivers are sikh.
world_on_fire 4
and this is why I never let my mum cook food for me, she would do the same!
loserman67 36
I love your mother. She fried your veggies in bacon grease and I am positive you loved every single bite and felt your mom was the greatest cook in the world. Look, a little bacon grease doesn't hurt. It just helps keep everything inside nice and lubed up. Just like oiling a machine so it operates smoothly, your wonderful mother was keeping you nice and oiled up so you operate smoothly. Now you go and give that wonderful considerate woman a kiss and a hug and a thank you for not depriving you of one of the greatest foods of all time.
daringtoride 27
Well, aren't you an inconsiderate asshole.
i_luv_dogs 10
Your name speaks for itself... Loser man
chungyiubear 10
you are so ****** up.
misslysiak 23
I'm so sorry. That would be horrible. I have been a vegetarian for 7 years and I have no idea what I would do if I found out something like that. I hope your okay.
pdp_fml 21
Oh my! You couldn't notice that your veggies tasted so good, like bacon? YDI
oj101 33
I find it even sadder that you tried to deny yourself bacon in the first place ;( One does not simply give up bacon.
lil_ham1644 29
I've hated bacon since I was a kid. The smell used to actually make me throw up. People don't always like the same foods as everyone else. Also, bacon is not the best thing on the planet. It's overrated.
DocBastard 40
Does this change anything about you? Have your morals or ethics changed at all now that you have this knowledge? Or are you exactly the same person that continues to eschew meat voluntarily? You were a vegetarian a week ago, and you still are.
Myo_fml 20
Doc... Is that bottle up an ass or... I just can't understand the how and... Why?
DocBastard 40
Yes it is, and I can't understand it either.
doodlecloud 27
True, OP still holds a vegetarian view which in this case is most important. However, if OP's mum was fully aware that OP was trying to follow a vegetarian diet and did that regardless then I'd say there's some trust lost in that relationship. So FYL anyway.
yeongji 31
There are different types of vegetarians. Some are to the extreme where they do not eat any meat products, as well as products such as milk and cheese (anything produced from animals). Then there are those who do not eat red meat, but will eat stuff like seafood. Now that you know your mother's secret, either be wary of what she cooks, or learn to cook on your own. If not, don't be so strict with your diet as a vegetarian.
Sheh_fml 25
Actually, no. Vegetarians don't eat meat, any meat. Vegans don't eat any kind of product that originally comes from animals. People might say they are vegetarian and still eat fish or chicken, but they're not, because there is actually "rules" or requirement for it. Ergo, it is not just a handy word for every norm-breaking diet.
doodlecloud 27
To add on to what 36 said - not eating red meat/chicken but still eating fish is called 'pescetarianism'. Not eating red meat but still eating chicken doesn't really have a name. Some people just call it 'failing' but I think that's a bit harsh as, although it is NOT vegetarianism, it's better than not trying at all (from a veggie view anyway).
allisaurusrex 7
Isn't someone who eats fish/chicken but not any other meat called an ovatarian? As in they only eat animals that come from eggs? Feel free to correct me, that's just what I've heard them called before so I may be way off. :)
420Zombie 17
it drives me up the wall when people don't consider fish as meat. What, because it lives in water it's no longer an animal w/ meat on it's bones? yeah, that makes sense -_-
Kkkdawg 27
OMG! I know! I never ever understood this. Especially on Good Friday, when you aren't supposed to eat meat, but can still eat fish. It's still a friggin animal!
love_me_electric 20
If you still eat fish you're a pescetarian, not a vegetarian. If you eat chicken and fish it's called pollitarian I think? Kind of ridiculous to give them special names, IMO. It's much easier to just say "I don't eat any meat except fish/chicken".