Work: BFFs

BFFs

By annoyedgirl - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 856

You deserved it 4 804

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Same thing different taste

By thosedamnkids - 22/01/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 368

You deserved it 2 647

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 757

You deserved it 3 641

I don't wanna…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 06:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 895

You deserved it 1 710

Mr Tickle

By tortured - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 4 668

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 269

You deserved it 2 956

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 202

You deserved it 5 293

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 308

You deserved it 4 322

By NotJobbing - 11/08/2015 23:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 3 160

By fired - 23/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 231

You deserved it 65 554

By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer

Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 745

You deserved it 2 658

nanner42 13

Saturday 4 May 2013 9:40

Should have shot him back

coolboy675 16

Saturday 4 May 2013 9:40

Boom, headshot!

Comments

KillPrince 6

Saturday 4 May 2013 20:16

Guess you could say you were... *glasses* struck by him:p

Zebediabolical 40

Saturday 4 May 2013 22:21

It's ok. He probably hates you too.

Bcfrmkc816 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 5:10

Shoot him back might as well have fun while working. At least until someone loses an eye.

AurumPotestasEst 16

Sunday 5 May 2013 8:40

If it was a staple gun you'd be dead... those things are very heavy duty.

liverpooly44 8

Sunday 5 May 2013 9:05

So, he likes you too?

infectedsense 15

Sunday 5 May 2013 14:15

Trust your instincts, OP. First impressions are normally correct!

onorexveritas 23

Sunday 5 May 2013 18:45

that's romantic

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 5 May 2013 19:33

Jesus that must of hurt...well hopefully you had a chance to shoot him back...if not find a time to...

xxsakuraxx 29

Monday 6 May 2013 1:11

Damn! You should be able to press charges for that shit. What an asshole!

jixiekat 14

Saturday 31 August 2013 18:54

ow! owow owie

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 598

You deserved it 3 415

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 463

You deserved it 4 974

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 311

You deserved it 5 765

Today, my newly installed Ring doorbell captured crystal clear footage of my wife sucking off my brother on my porch. With sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 156

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 2 693

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 5 317

BFFs

Same thing different taste

I don't wanna…

Mr Tickle

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