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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Periods

    Dad joke

    By bookworm94 - 27/07/2009 04:10 - United States

    Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 51 865
    You deserved it 16 756
    Share  

    Red flag

    By paddy - 14/07/2009 12:23 - United Kingdom

    Today, I went to a neon-themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 78 608
    You deserved it 16 541
    Share  

    By megan228 - 20/03/2009 21:16 - United States

    Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 143 592
    You deserved it 9 030
    Share  

    Crime scene

    By isuckatlife - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 56 177
    You deserved it 5 907
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Mysterious Creepy Scary Plumbing Health Healthy Lifestyle Smoking Ironic Anger issues Dogs Animals Confused Grandparents Cute Kids Love Awkward First Dates Family Pregnancy Gross Work Weird Tinder NSFW Sex Intimacy Relatable Periods
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 614
    You deserved it 76
    Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 19 748
    You deserved it 122 146
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 014
    You deserved it 4 759
    Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 512
    You deserved it 3 408
    Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 819
    You deserved it 8 685
    Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11 132
    You deserved it 66 221
    Today, I found out how hard it is to actually change light bulbs. I work with electricians. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 620
    You deserved it 318
    Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 112
    You deserved it 773
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