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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    NSFW

    Frustrating

    By Noname - 17/01/2009 20:40 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11 825
    You deserved it 39 587
    Share  

    Thin brown line

    By Poopy - 12/01/2009 16:19 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 57 970
    You deserved it 8 262
    Share  

    Come on in…

    By vaness@ - 06/12/2008 04:54 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 445
    You deserved it 11 975
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Vacation Gross Awkward Food Health Painful Television TV shows Money Work Bosses Public freakouts Cops Fight Pregnancy Kids My ex Love Confused Relatable Friends I need your advice Questions Smartphone Telephones Motherhood NSFW Sex Intimacy
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 511
    You deserved it 119
    Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was, "Nice weather?" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 22 840
    You deserved it 39 860
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 866
    You deserved it 5 028
    Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 490
    You deserved it 10 224
    Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 199
    You deserved it 3 903
    Today, my 7-month pitbull chewed up a framed picture of my parents and another framed picture of my other pitbull. Maybe he's mad I don't have any pictures of him framed yet? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 151
    You deserved it 957
    Today, I almost burned the house down while changing a lightbulb. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 607
    You deserved it 274
    Today, I noticed my boyfriend tasted different than normal so he got a doctor's appointment, which is where he discovered he has a yeast infection under his foreskin. Yuck. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 402
    You deserved it 136
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